breakthrough

Have not been online for such a long time...
ahphee...
haha...
seems like going a lot these days without notice..
n reading book..
lol
half way throught it
i need to write a book review for GP
T.T
cry ah


i wrote in Chinese cos i noe if wrote in English will be v saddening
then i cant continue to write..
lol
no special meaning in writing in chinese...

Autralia...
hmmm...
so many ppl went there...
seems like i ll need to visit there once in e future..

3 of my best frenz r already there
n one more to go...
realli feel affected earlier on bah

anw,yj s birthday passed by smoothly
=)
hehe

n i love e hp accessory i made
unfortunately i lost it
T.T
so sad so sad


anwi love e bag!
haha

n yesterday s service is great!
i feel like i had not been church for a long time
haha
quite weird feeling

猫醒了

猫醒了。。。

一只受伤的猫

今天雨不大，可却使人感到冰冷
猫本就是多疑的动物，它喜欢独处
只有对某些人，才会流露出它的另一面

最近，它受伤了
不是小伤，很严重
它痛，可是它不说，因为它的心麻木了

它在以前也曾受过伤，是的，那时的它也付出了很多
可那时的它单纯得像个孩子
它不知迁就
不懂怎样跟他相处

一报还一报吧

它为了他’改变了这么多，变得连他都不认得自己了
而它义无反顾
它可以在他’伤心时逗他开心
可以花更多的时间,心思与金钱在他’身上

可他’似乎不懂猫

猫痛了
真得痛了
也很累

猫缩成一团
睡了

christmas

today is christmas..
i have mixed feeling...

was quite angry n sad in e morning..
n tt feeling arouse again later in e afternoon...
but e game was fun.
so does e singing n ur birthday celebration...

hmmm...dont like to feel left out bah...
was quite sad tt when someone gave so many ppl presents but left u out...didnt realli demand on e quality of e present,just e remembrance..

still v thankful for ppl who gave me little stuffs..
n e present exchange,e cd which i ll try to play later..

n i love e cat...
lol
cat is a suspicious animal, n always alone...
well...im like cat?
haha

ur brithday falls on e 28th which is a few days later..
hope its going to be as nice as tt in my mind...

christmas eve...

ha!im always so last minute!
haha
secondary graduation night,i went to buy clothes tt same afternoon...
n today i went to buy christmas presents e morning of christmas eve...
hehehehe
christmas is not onli santa clause or what, its e birth of Christ!
God give his only son, Jesus gives his life
so christmas is also a season of giving!
mom n dad have given me so much, n they will continue giving me in their whole life..
what can i do in return?
by helping them with e housework or taking care of brothers?
but thats limited of what i can do for im still a 17 yrs old girl who loves all e fun things in this world..
so what else can i do?
by giving them e warmest wishes this christmas...

there r five love languages n different ppl have different ones...
for me, giving is my love language....
=)


bought my brothers each a toy from toys R us
my mom, a lucky leaf pendant from moshimoshi...
mo father a shirt from mizuno..
my aunt a gift set from body shop..
n u....hmmmm...shall not tell u first!hehehehe

n guess what?today is my cousin s birthday as well!
wolalala
as for him, a log cake from breadtalk n a bag from zinc which i bought e other day!

n it makes me remember something...
thank u!=)i love e shirt n jeans...they r nice

e day before christmas eve...

y is everyone throwing harsh words at me?
what have i done wrong?
or maybe everything i have done r wrong...

will i grow to become someone who trusts no one?

when was e last time i cried?

everything seems so miserable...

yet yesterday and a few hrs ago are still bright days...

_e day before christmas eve
_my tears dried...

my heart.....

"You're talking to me, reveals the things that I must know...."

God, y is life going on this way?
there is a purpose?

y did the two things happen in one day?











read the newspaper in the morning
n there is this article talking abt something like when u establish relationship before 17,there is chance tt u may get some mental problem...
well...i donno whether tts true...
i feel one ll get more mature after ur first love...


y am i becoming so suspicious of what ppl said to me?
am i having some mental problem?hmmmm....


argh!!!!!!!!!!!
i was feeling like cryin...
one was thinking of going out wif u happily last time...
another was after reading ur' e mail....
haiz....

im a bad girl.....
i am right?


Hey
阳光多耀眼
天空那边
希望你也是晴天
My Friend
I'll Be There
分享你所有喜悦
Alrighr
就这么简单
和你
透过真心交换
My Friend
我永远都在

---Sun Ho 你永远都在（片断）

a lesson i should have learnt

im feeling real sad now...
but e thing i have learnt is tt although a close friendship feels good, its hard to maintain once something happens.
becos u expect more from tt person?
well...i have seen it so many times....n most r typical example...

i love my God...
He is my Lord...



i love this photo...

photo

i love this photo~

fj's photography skill is pro!lol

mixed feeling

i donno whr to start writing...
i should not have expect ppl to treat u sincerely when u r still a childish girl back then...
when we grow older,we suspect things we see or we hear...
tts a gd sign...

but just dont treat me as a stupid girl who noes nothing!

i feel angry...










last sat. attended service, which is great...
i had been troubled abt whether i have e energy to complete whatever i want..
n pastor shared abt,instead of worrying tt,y dont praise God for what He has put in ur life...




=)

year 2006

i have spent 7hours before i did one topic of the happy package...
n here i am,coming online once more...
is it because of the drawning of the year-end so that i am so emotional?
hmmm...should i also do a recall of what have happened in e past one yr?i miss 2006 though we r still in 2006...its a year which i will not forget easily..maybe some details will be drift away by time but e memory will be lingering in my mind...

Jan
-came to HCI
-orientation
-69
-wallgame
-mass dance

Feb
-a girl called xs entered my life
-going out
-talking
-slacking
-crying

Mar
-my birthday
-presents
-a period of ups and downs
-a mixed feeling
-there is dramatic changes in e class

Apr
-i joined calli?
-xs s birthday


May
-LEP camp
-a turning point

June
-i cant remember

July
-playing
-studying

August
-received a card unexpectedly
-a nice meal
-some gifts

Sep
-mom s birthday

Oct
-promo
-MAF
-Openhouse

Nov
-op
-trip to China

Dec
-it mean for study,but did i?

there r so many thoughts i have right now...i cant organise them in complete paragraph that makes sense....

i like sociable beings
i like funny people
i like active ones

becos tts not what im filled with...

the class 69 is e reason for me missing school sometimes.
i love this class unexpectedly...

so many of my friends left to Australia n some r going to US next yr..
whr will i be e yrs follow?

there is an ending of a relationship
a running away from a relationship
and a period of waiting for a relationship

its a happening year,so unexpectedly..
just realise that the frequency of using this word is high in this entry...

n i just start to wondering what life i have had actualli?
did i realli try to study hard?yes,i did...but tts onlia after i have wasted almost 7 months...tts a lot in a year..
my cousin is applying for u nowadays..
she has two s-papers,one nus research paper,high SAT score...
n what do i have?
life is like tt bah...
its not like what i have said,i ll onli concentrate on doing the current things well,i didnt do tt at all...

cca...did i realli put in my role?
i think my cca leaders must be v disappointed of having such exco...
n through e calli teacher said i have some sort of talent in calli..but i have never practiced other than e cca times...who to blame if i cant write well?
is this e attitude i should have in order to become a successful person?

actualli im not going for to become a successful career woman.
all i want is a blessful family and a happy self...
isnt tt easy?
no,tts not easy at all,tts all it takes in life...

am i a strong person or a weak one?
i have labelled myself with each of them before,but i dont even noe the truth now...
i think there wont be a definite character for eveyone bah..

am i petty or am i generous?

am i kind or am i evil?

am i pretty or am i ugly?

these r all things that wont be definite for everyone..
y seeking to know the ans?

happy is when u feel satisfy about life...

no title

hmmm...
y am i becoming somehow a bit miserable/down/pessimistic these days?
is it becos of entering e realistic life?hmmm...i miss e days in beijing where i dont have to worry anything but just eat,sleep and play...
i feel v luan4 now...
whats next yr going to be like?
hardwork+hardwork+harkwork?
hmmm....
seriously i became dislike Singapore's living style...
its a busy city,a fast living-pace society...
we have to think before act...time seems to flow and also seems to be stagnant...
could i just slack through e days or should i start to work hard?
e decision is not guaranteneed...
aiya..i donno what im talking abt...
haiz...

argh!

T.T
im feeling v sad now...haiz...
i donno whether its becos my mom miss me too much when i was away so she keep on sort of scolding me these days or is it tt im not used to parent restrictions after e trip to beijing....
haiz..i miss beijing...

n i just realise e tian cai in hotmail is xs....-.-.....fine...i always delete mails sent by this tiancai cos i dont like "his" name....well.....-.-....no comment....

hwT.T

ahhh!!!!!!!!!
im starting to think abt e load of hw
T.Tcry le
i have onli finished one of e LEP reports....ahhhhh
i shall start doing physics from tml
i need to do.....
>.<

beijing....

Haha...just read kimmin s blog...lol
have so many things to say....
haha...
kimmin ate a lot of fan he while i ate a lot of restaurant food...lol...realli restaurant food loh....10 ppl on one table...n we had 10 plus dishes e least...sometimes 20 plus....
we forced ourselves to eat loh...cos dont want to waste...
then we played zhong ji mi ma...lol...then fj kept on lose lah!
e next day was meT.Tcos i sat beside her....
lol...
e hotel in beijing is nice!i miss e breakfast there....n e beijing ppl...
n we didnt expect e hostel in shanghai has tv,aircon,bathroom!2 ppl in one room...
well...we like beijing v much but dont like shanghai leh....v bored...haha...
we watched lots of performance...
there was a time we went to this performance which was watched by e poor ppl during e Qing dynasty...
oh my....its gross loh...
a person wif big tummy took out a knife n cut e wood...then he cut his stomach!T.Thave sound somemore...T.T...then nothing happen...then he did again cos e guys wanted...T.T....my goosebumps were all over....
of course there r other performances...haha...
many ppl said fj n i looks alikeT.Tsome even say they cant differentiate us...n tts 10 days after....
well...i have no comment...lol...
i just miss beijing!T.T

im back!

im finally back!
=)
feel so happy...
although most of them feel like staying at beijing longer,i feel like coming back at once(yet,i still wanna go beijing once more in e future cos its a beautiful city,most imtply,i want to go wif u)....e result is.....they laughed at me a lotT.T
whats there to laugh mah....>.<>. <
e gd thing is im back!
some ppl didnt want to come back cos of e hw...but i donno y,i feel like coming back.its not tt im not afraid of e hw...but as long as im in S'pore...hmmm...they laughed at me T.T

ahhh....i donno what to say.,..such a random entry...
haha

e conclusion is, im SO HAPPY to come back!
cos i MISS u
n u guys=)

God,i need u..

i was blogging abt "i love beijing"
but after reading someone s blog...
i feel like a change of mood
i just feel like talking abt things

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
hmmm...actualli i have also doubt abt some of e things she said...but i think its a better way t0 not think abt so much...to me.God is a support when u r weak...it may be like some ppl said tt religion is just a human's blieve,which we call faith..religion can bring ppl energy n encouragement.sometimes when ppl have wicked thought,the thought of tt there is someone with u may put those thoughts away

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
well...tts what i understand of religion bah

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
yup... but then the thing is God is real...

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:and christianity is not jus a religion...

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
It takes faith to believe something there when u cant see...

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
Some ppl claim to have faith, yet in their hearts its empty

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
to them, God is something out there but unreal, jus a figment of their imagination

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
It takes a real personal encounter for one to truly sense that God is real...

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
it is hard to differentiate wad is real and wad is jus our imagination...

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
maybe im just a baby-christian bah...but to me,i can sense God onli when im having a hard time...

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
i donno whether tts enough cos i didnt experience more than tt yet

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
haha

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
God works in many ways that we cannot see

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
u know that day i charge ur phone?

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
i tried for 1 hour

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
i cant charge...

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
then i jus start to pray abit...

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
jus in tongues... in a few minutes i managed to charge it le

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
haha

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
Like wad she said we cannot determine when coincidences happen

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
yep

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
how do we know

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
but when coincidences happen too much

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
its not a coincidence anymore

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
but the problem is, whenever we pray coicidence happen

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
ya..maybe not totally what we wish for...but its still gd

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
She said y people become succesful without God

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
its very simple...

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
God's Word is always true, reap wad u sow

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
it does not only happen to christians

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
God's Word is for everyone..

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
Then is there a need for God?

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
If u are able to understand that it was God that had planned all this, yet don feel thankful its very self-centered...

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
Its like ur parents bringing u up, yes though the child may be disobedient, yet the parent wil still care for the child

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
Its funny the way she puts it...

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
she sort of agrees to the existance of God, yet refuses to admit that God is real

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
haha

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
i donno leh

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
like so many things happened when im away

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
not really

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
i din know also until yesterday

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
o.o

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
you have to stay strong in ur conviction loh...

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
everyone has to make that decision... whether to believe that God is true or not

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
To stand in the middle is jus bringing trouble to urself only.. =)

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
hope huai huai will udnerstand

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
actualli my heart get stirred when reading cd s blog

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
but i understand what i believe in~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:n i noe what i want

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
wad u mean get stirred? o.O

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
u ask me anything bah... i don wan to stumble u..

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
i just mean like sometimes i just dont feel e presence of God during service,so i feel restless...

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
n sometimes i cant feel e presence in daily life too

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
but God touches my heart too

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
like when i was in China

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
e day before i came back

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
i was in e bus to a place

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
n e sky is v unique...its like there is a hole(white) in e all blue sky

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
there is no cloud tt day so e sky is all blue

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
i just feel like there is someone up there oh

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
then i start to miss church v much

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
n God

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
i sometimes too find it hard to feel His presence...

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
Yet He says draw near to Him and He will draw near to u

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
Pastor always say

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
ur mind moves fast, yet ur heart moves slow

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
God wans to touch ur heart

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
not ur mind..

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
Sometimes it seems like He is not there at all, but actually He is always there...

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
the times u don feel like praying or praising God, the more u shld do it..

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
Praise is a sacrifice,

to choose whether to believe is like a decision in ur life...
it determines ur life...
hmmm...i had worried abt how am i going to survive after pledging to e building fund...
yet,i noe now tt God realli blesses u in many ways...
like what someone has once said,we may be empty-pocket,but we will never be in lack.
yes,n im not empty-pocket,i have more than sufficient...God realli blesses me so much in all ways.