enjoyment in life

Didnt think of blogging today de....
but saw something in someone's blog,so feel like saying out my feeling...
i think men shouldnet be too self-centered by thinking onli I can feel emotions cos others keep on scolding me,so they dont feel things....but its not true...our life is abt relation wif ppl...try to think what r e things u can do if it not involve others?i mean...either u do wif others or u do tt for a purpose,which involves other human beings(society,family,friend)....well....i cant find such things...if onli u exist in this world,i guess u ll die of boredom v soon cos there r nothing u can do...not even things u can play with(computer,hp,mp3)cos they r all made by ppl....

Enjoy dealing wif loneliness is something we have to learn in life....=)
Enjoy dealing wif stresses is something tt lead to success....=p
Enjoy dealing wif sadness is something tt makes u strong...=x
Enjoy dealing wif happiness is something tt makes life beautiful....=)

MOral of e story....our life is filled wif things we should enjoy....=)


ya...i ll enjoy e writing camp..though i have like 8 essays i need to write....
wow....enjoy tt! ideas plz pop out!>.<

body aching>.<

Sabbaticl has ended..
i have asked quite a few ppl abt their module,which includes archery,bowling and ice-skate...they all said its fun...but then later on added "its quite sein sometimes".....
hmmm....well...seems like xs n i have chose e right courses!(cake making and indian cooking ,salsa)o.O....haha...i was thinking abt all e funny things happened in salsa class on mrt cos i was too bored,n i actualli laughed....i tried to control myself for it ll realli looks stupid n crazy to laugh alone,isnt it?lol...
this 1 week has been interesting....yet my body is aching all over!T.T....especially e lower portion of the right leg...i could feel e muscle moving inside n its painful!n i realli gain muscle on my arms.....o.o.......
though im under such condition,i still went to art cip today even though i noe xs s not going....surprisingly tt i didnt struggle emotionally for whether to go or not but i just went...i feel gd when doing tt art cip...n i sang "i could sing of ur love forever." repeatly as i was alone painting for all of us spreaded in e school doing touch up..o.o...haha...
hmmm...i painted until forget to look at e time, so i was nearly late for service....NEARLY>.<...hehe...well...feel v blessed by today s service....both e worship n preaching...n i like pastor tan preach...>.<.....is it because e thing he shared s not tt deep so i can understand?....>.<....
v tired now le.....next mon. s LEP camp....4 days 3 night.....T.T....i hope my bodyache could be "vanished" by next mon.
.....................................................
gd nitez....so tired....

salsa...o.o

another day has passed!yeah....
its a wonderful day started by me waiting again at e boon lay mrt station(lucky this time round s 15 min instead of 30min...>.<....)n then xs came wif her parents...o.O..... well...same as yesterday we dance from 9 30 to 5pm..bascially s one whole day as well....lol...my white socks has black bottom...wow.....so magical....o.O... haha....but i prefer today s ....as yesterday's s too awarkward...n uncomfortable....while today's s more active....lol... rock n roll...>.<
have a lots of extreme acts but wont be involved in e presentation cos they r dangerous...o.O...like e one spinning....o.O.....scary....lol....n it also needs time to recover cos e head s too dizzy...talking abt e spinning suddenly remind me of what xs n her partner did...lol...she looks like "shu dai xiong"....kola is it?.....i can still laugh while reflashing e picture in my mind....
did a lot of stupid thing today...T.T...but think its ok for a beginner like me who has nvr ever danced before......haha...one of e partner s not strong enough so we fell down together....T.T...another one s cos he was stoneing so i fell...T.T....lucky not e one doing e spinning or else i ll not be here blogging le....T.T....

today has ended by a cgm!long time nvr go le...
lol....
nice feeling....=)

life journey...

hmm...this week has been eventful...
i have Indian cooking and cake making on mon n tue..
lucky e cake making s not indian cake like what liupu has "predicted"....>.<
hehe...
i was v tired in e morning as i slept too much e day before..n we regretted of joining at first as its not like what we have expected...we dont get a stove ourself...T.T
but it turned out to be quite fun n i did make a dough though it sticks all over my palm n i even "threw" a dough into a roti prata!O.O...tts surprising rite?haha
but e second day me,xs n yt all become stoneing in e afternoon...n we three together wif ys went to stone at mcdonald during lunch time...in e end we played truth n dare....(actually we just played truth...cos we were in a stoneing stage!>.<...muhahaha)i wonder y HCI ppl all play truth n dare...O.O...a tradition?
wel...overall remark....i have been eating a lot that 2 days....basically s continual eating....
tts y i had diarhorreal..T.T
n e lastday of e course,me n xs took 154 back..we actualli took from e one bus interchange to e other bus interchange!o.o....well....e bus did pass HCI...but we woke up to find np instead...missed our school...depressed for a moment...n my head fell on her shouder again!T.T....suppose to be wife s head on husband de mah....T.T
we discovered a lots of ulu places these few days..
haha...

hmmm...tts basically e first 2 days of e week...for Wed...we have had a fun talk in e morning though we ecpected it to be boring...for e second talk.it was realli boring...-.-...n both i n xs mis-thought pilosophy as psychology!o.O...
n xs asked her classmate a low-intelligent qn,which only revealed our stupidness......T.T...>.<
followed by tt was phy make up...which should be onli 1 1/2hr but it lasted for 2 hrs!i felt so cheated so i refused to listen after 1 1/2hrs....>.straight after tt was art club election..
xs asked me to run for vp...then next time can have more fun in art club...haha...
in e end e election turned out to be v firece n scary....xs said she can feel e atmosphere of pressures and some ppl r v scary....T.T....well.she s e onli j1 not running..haha....mdm for nc le...salute to u...puei.....
i dont mind abt e election actualli...can c from i didnt even think abt e speech until i was sitting down there...O.o...while e others prepared....o.O......well...true in heart i dont mind getting or not getting e post de...but i dont want too scary ppl get e post...or art club not fun liao...
getting back to e point...what realli piss me off s how one of e senior did....
i cant realli say any exact thing she did but from every small things,i just feel v piss off wif her...
she just give me n xs e impression tt she always talk wif guys...well..i mean...its ok if u just like to talk to guys,its not our business anyway...but u dont have to act so obvious rite?especially u ignored e girls....she has nvr talked to me n xs...always ignored us...its v obvious when u talked to all e others..who r guys....-.-
n what realli piss me off s tt she shoot me attacking qn during qn n ans section.n her stare s so fierce while she looked so kind when asking e others...well...she didnt asked many others anyway...-.-...but i just mean what did i do wrong tt makes her to "hate" me?
argh...tts realli something tt made me so piss off tt day lah....

today had salsa....o.O>.<.....i waited xs for 30 min(according to her) at mrt station
so withou doubt we were late
n whats more s tt we got to e wrong place!T>T
lucky met a guy going also.hah...so we just followed him...
by e time we reached, they started already...but we managed to catch up wif it...
tt trainee was talking a lot abt e"dear" schoolmate songjun...they have has a gd time..haha...
lucky im not in run 1 ...or dancing wif him ll be so...o.O(as we rotate partner...)..n i ll realli laughed by claire for she wa there for run 1.....-.-....
did a lot of dance....we were basically dancing from 9am to 4 pm wif 1 1hr break n two 15min breaks altogether...
my legs r going to crack liao...T.T....
n they said we need to do a presentation in term3....T.T...i dont want...
salsa s fun lah...but its not tt fun when u dance wif strangers.....T.T....its just strange....


was feeling like what i ll feel if i cant find u in a crowd....feel like have u by my side after e course...to get me soothed...but cant...
haiz...now feeling better le..

hmmm....so e 8 conditions for a partner in dream r...
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
6)
7)
8)
everthing tt e person i like is.....
for when u have e spark n u like tt person...everything abt tt person ll become something attrative to u...=)
does tt ans ?

dont be sad....for i ll walk wif u on e life journey...

untitled.

"最近蛮向往小情侣间的单纯快乐,无忧无虑...虽然在这乱世是不可能找得到
因为现在的女生都那么聪明,知道很多东西 ><"
from xiaoming s blog again...o.O...
this s part of wad me,xs n yanting ware talking abt in e afternoon...>.<

SwEet Dream..

TOday s e first day of sabbatical n my run 1 s cake making n indian cooking!muhahaha...
well...we were feeling a bit regretted in e morning when we realised we wont get a stove,an oven and a place for everyone of us...
hmm...but in e end it turned out to be quite fun,especially e part whr we were "rolling" and "torturing" the dough!lol..it all stick on my palm..T.T....haha...but v shiok...
then i made roti prata!!!!!!!!!!surprising?o.O
hehe...n its even more surprisingly tt i did quite ok wif the throughing and slapping against e table...lol...

BUT....

like everything s imperfect...a guy in e class makes me feel piss off.....
show not talk abt him...or spoiled my mood...tml just take him as transparent bah...lol...i wont c him again!(for he s so insignificant...-.-....)

AND...
after tt...i n xs went to cine. to watch poseidon!!!!!!!yeah!finalli...haha
we were suppose to alight at somerset de but in e end we ended up alighting at newton together wif yanting,who s going back to school...n e cause of all these r we were too engaged in talking wif yanting and also cos we 2 r lack of direction n timing n sense!T.T.......many things have shown tt so i wont try to deny it le....-.-

THEN....
we didnt catch up wif e 4 30 de ....T.Tbut bought e 6 20 de...

YET...
its a nice movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so scary and heart shocking...
thanks to our decision made....we left our supposed seats n went to the most front...just to feel e effect!hehe
n we realli did...
well..its still a nice show...

feeling v sleepy now but need to wait for my hair to dry...
T.T
Hope u r in a sweet dream now...=)

悄悄话

Be a man love by women...


一：男人千万要记住，自家女人绝对不要拿来和别的女人比较。
　　不要老说别人的老婆如何如何好，别数落她不漂亮，她能嫁给你那是你的福气，你还这么 说，真是很不应该。对大多数女人来说，听到自己最爱的人说她的一句好那是比所有人说她的好加起来还受用。何况，爱她还忍心伤害她吗？
　　二：不可以三天两头的冷落她。
　　女人都是敏感多疑的，她会把很多事情往消极的方向想。其实出门前的一个蜻蜓点水的吻、回家推开门时的一个拥抱都会让你的女人以后想起来感动万分，这些对于男人一点都不难做到，不是吗？记得在你难过时告诉她让两人一起分担，在她难过时要牵着她的手把手心的温度传给她。
　　三：不要摆脸色给你的女人看，一个对女人使脾气的男人是很可恶的。
　　你在生意场光鲜整洁，她在家中忙里忙外的，繁忙的家务已经让她有了一肚子火了，你应该要知道就是因为她在你背后所做的这一切才能让你无后顾之忧。试想一男人下班后回家说：老婆，你忙了一天，辛苦了！女人笑笑说：没什么的，你才辛苦呢！那是多么和谐的一幅画。
　　四：男人走到一起是比工作比职位，女人走到一起是比男人比孩子。
　　所以在她的女友面前一定得表现出你对她的宠爱和疼惜，让她觉得自己是一个公主，拥有了会让所有女人嫉妒的那份完整的爱。如果她是一个明理的女人，她肯定也会在你的哥们面前给足你面子，让你在朋友面前做个顶天立地的大男人。
　　五：和男人喜欢看美女一样，女人也喜欢看帅哥。
　　你可以吃醋可以生气，可是一个真爱你的女人其实看到帅哥的时候的心境比男人看到美女时的心境更加单纯，她只是看到一些美好的东西有些感叹而已，就像是看到一幅美的图画一样，不像男人那样会有更多的幻想。
　　六：老婆是娶来疼的，有修养的男人是绝对不会打老婆的。
　　如果真爱她那就一定要尊重她，不能随便动手。如果你已经不爱她了，那么你就摸摸自己的良心：我还能让她幸福吗？如果答案是否定的，那就放她走吧，让她找个真正能对她好的人。让自己别再错下去也让她自由吧！
　　七：女人喜欢男人的大男子主义，这样让她们觉得很安全。
　　可女人更抵挡不了男人的温柔，如果说女人的温柔是对付男人的利器，那么男人不经意的温柔对于女人绝对是可以说是核武器。但是女人也有自己天性那就是天生的母性情结，她偶尔会把你当做自己的孩子一样处处宠爱着，但你要记住不要得寸进迟。
　　八：家庭永远是第一。
　　男人固然要对工作负责，却也要有职业道德，要从工作中得到乐趣，但不要做工作的奴隶，我们工作是为了更快乐地和家人在一起，享受生活很重要，记得不定时地和你们妻子和你的孩子一起享天伦之乐。
　　九：爱人的父母就是自己的父母，将心比心，爱屋及乌。
　　老吾老以及人之老，只要内心深处真正感到这就是我自己的父母，心理上对老人依恋亲密，老人会感受到这份真心的。何况，人老了很象孩子，只要象哄孩子般哄老人开心就好了。我们自己也有老的一天，要做好下辈的镜子，让他们知道怎么去尊敬老人。
　　十：两个人相处切记要坦诚、信任、宽容、理解。
　　不可事事隐瞒但也可在逼不得已时说些善意的谎言，个中尺度自己把握。多多站在对方的立场上去看一件事，想想她的处境，体会一下她的为难之处。记得：你是她最爱的人，你要理解她，支持她，在她犯错误时要宽容以对。

Girl in God's house

"我被世界遗忘，
而你却一直守候我，引导我，爱我;
当我一无所有时，我知道还有你陪我到永远；
地球没有停止转动，而我为你随世界转动..."
----"Girl in God's house"

"I'm lost in a world of unknown...
but you are there to shelter me,guide me and your love filled my heart...
the world is set into motion
in your name..."
-----"Girl in God's house"

my heart shattered upon the cruel realities of the world revealed...
nothing could be done but accept.

Virtue is not innocence, but innocence tested..

Engage the World and emerge through the World..

Faith can be tested...

God,i lay upon u....


(all i have for lunch today is a cup of diluted milk tea...o.O....i ll lose weight if i can be like this frequently...haha...but cant lah...)
(it feels gd to make ppl happy...=) )

1:56:30

just hang up phone...1:56:30....
o.O.....
such a long call.

feeling quite sleepy now...
have had a great time painting the flowers today..haha....was basically doing touch up...

Im already entering a holiday mood..>.<
i wanted to watch movie a lot tonight but failed to do tt...
T.T

.....

.....

the phone call conver. made me think a lot..
haiz...
i dont wanna elaborate much...but every kind of things tend to be contradicting....
donno how to say le....

。。

from xiaoming s blog...
“男人都是多情的
为什么女人却是痴情的呢
女人都是痴情的
那为什么男人却是多情的呢

我不懂,因为我不是痴情的男人”
its quite true bah...
tts y most of e couples dont stay long for this difference...its not saying who s bad or who s gd...for its more of a nature bah...

relationship s abt growing...
s abt learning how to communicate,how to understand,how to live wif someone...
its a hard journey...fills wif happniess and sadness...
lol..all for one goal..

all gals should be happy...^.^

"i suddenly feel all gals should be happyo.O"------someone...
haha...this sentence leave an impact on me just like what i did to xs by replying her
"....its e spark tt makes u like tt person and then u started to praise him or her....however, e spark is not a physical thing,so it cant be seen,unlike the praises....so ppl tend to think all e praises u have made abt tt person r the reasons u like tt person but they failed to c its e spark tt make all these happen...." when she said,"u seem to like tt person because of......"
so....like someone realli doesnt not need a reason..its tt feeling and then u started to think everything or maybe most of e things abt him or her r gd....

"gambatte"this s exactly what i n xs shouted tt day...lol...mean to be a surprise but failed..

i must say i have had a terrible week...
since e day after i stayed late to do GPP(lit. review) untill 12 plus...
but i was realli touched by HC and LB for helping me out in my dismay and frustration...
i was realli stressed tt day and have no idea of wad i should do after 2 hrs spending on e same thing...tts quite slow i guess....

i lied on my bed e next morning...unwilling to get up cos i cant open my eyes as i turned my alarm off...n by e time i struggled to open them..its alreay 5 40.....T.T....tts horrible...thinking i need to catch e bus at 6 15....T.Tn i havent iron my uni n pack my bed...n my breakfast..T.T.....
well..i fell asleep almost immediately after e usual chat wif xs on bus..but it was a super short chat as i fell asleep in e mid -way...n she nagged me for tt later on...-.-......
n i wanna raise my objection to her nag on"always feel something heavy on my shorlder".....
u also always do tt mah....its cos i dont wanna u lay onmy shoulder so i use my head to support ur head but obviously tt doesnt work cos u keep on move ur head away n it "bang"s down as usual....so this s a oscillation...(ah hem.....i learn phy de hor)
hahaha
talking abt phy...remind me of e terrible day i had yesterday...
was feeling extremely tired n sleepy in e morning without a reason...so i was not having a gd mood i guess....n to make everything worse...mr teo "find" me in such a crowd n depicted on my skirt....T.T
well..it short cos my grandma altered it when i was in school mah....n i think she made it until a bit higher than e length i told her...T.T....okay...my grandma s not tt old-fashion...so its not like wad xie lao shi has said abt grandma ll surely want to make e skirt as long as possible...
well..maybe one of e skirt s a bit short bah...but i cant do anything abt it...
then scolded by miss yan...
lucky e grp file didnt get scolded...n we were actually guessing tt she has given up hope on us...haha
n something abt xs makes me a bit upset....haiz...but its over....i dont mind now le..
so basically i passed e day in a "peaceful" state...i do things just for e pass of the day...not for living...
later on in e night as i got back home,i slept from 9 to 10 as i was realli tired....info wont get into my mind even if i read it....so yj called me up at 10 n he went to sleep...T.T....i have not learnt a single thing yet abt gravitational field....
my eyes hurt a lot n it feels "sour" and itchy...to make things worse,i cant understand e things i was reading...
felt damn stress n i cried...haiz...feeling v helpless n lonely.....e crying rate has shoot up by a lot this year due to stresses abt work....
then my mom came in....she has started to use e body scrub,shower foam and lotion,which i gave her as mother's day present...haha...she said it feels v luxurious to use both e body scrub n shower foam...but her skins realli feel v soft....hmmm...have yet to ask whether she has a gd sleep last night...for tt s e main purpose of using them...haha...
she noe i have cried judging from my red nose n eyes....


but they r paid off wif today s lecture test...well...its not a difficult one according to e teachers,especially its open-book test but i still feel motivated by it for e first test i got 9 over35....
although i didnt do well for e mock spa..i dont feel tt bad..haha...
so i think this shows i tend to do well when im sad n quiet...

yesterday on bus ,an ACS guy sat beside me when i was sleeping...well..normally no one ll sit beside me de for i donno y....(when xs cant catch tt bus)...n i smell e smell tt s always on ALvin...lol...e lavender softener used for washing cloths...i smelled it on weixin also...lol...wonder y i have nvr smelled it from girls...its quite a strong one so can smell it from a distance...quite a familiar smell...
haha....i think smell s realli a significant thing abt a person...
i have had lots of emotional disturb associated wif smell...

n now i like soap....^.^
there s gp essay tml...o.O....die.....
but i like e art cip ...haha

yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Life seems to get harsh again...haiz...i dont understand y...
i was so sleepy today i fell asleep immediately onboard e bus, morning n afternoon...
nvr ending....
darkness....dull....boredom....rountinary....
wads there to live for?

haiz....y am i feeling so down nowadays....
yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

tomato...apple...red?immisible...

y am i feeling down for no reason?
haiz...
n to make things worse, i went to c ppl s blogs...
so many contains sad content...
its quite logical actually...

i have tried to talk to u sometimes but i dont get e reply most of the times...the feeling s just not rite...haiz..
whats more sad than not having communication?































tomato appears red to everyone, not just one person...

GPP>.<

im suppose to be here doing gpp de...but in e end i was reading ppl s blogs...haiz...
so inefficient...
reading others' blogs can makes u think a lots..
my relationship wif God has juz started?....i can realli be touched sometimes.realli.....but sometimes i ll juz wonder am i realli relying on God...i still tend to believe more in myself...for wadever ll happen ll depend on how i do it...
haiz...so contradict...
there ll be art cip again tml...its a meaningful thing to do compare to cip lik flagday bah i think...
so even though i ll be going alone tml cos xs have phy....i ll still enjoy myself de..
lit review....haiz...im suppose to do tt...
n i still owe 4 reflections i think...T.T

jia you...

this Sunday is MOther's day...i went to buy presents for my mom today ...
xs n i went to school in e morning to take attendance before we managed to escape from e school though there r npcc ppl on guards..haha...
we took 171 to go orchard...n we got off at half-way cos she said we took e wrong bus...but we realised 171 goes to orchard!T.T.....since when did she learn this from me??!!
well....
so in e end,i bought one body scrub,one body wash and one body lotion...all for "sleep well" de ...i cant think of any things...but i do noe my mom s v tired every night after work bah...spent quite some today....for even e paper bag cost me 3 dollars...
actualli i felt its quite a failure as daughter when u dont even noe wad r things ur mom want or need....
i wrapped them wif red papers and put into e paper bag...a v nice one wif red ribbon...
ll write her a letter n add a flower bah...
just hope she ll like...donno y...sometimes i just feel i owe my mom a lot....not in terms of money but other things...

Lay hwee msg me in e afternoon asking me to go out tml....but i cant cos i have 4 tests next week...T.T
i appreciate it nevertheless...i have nvr tried to contact them as much......haiz...i feel v sori to hannah also...i rejected her so many times...im a failure in being a friend also..
i should have known no matter how i wish they r well or how much i care for them,if i dont show tt or didnt make them known, its as well like non-exist....


i was reading frenzs' blogs...
haiz...
just feel sad n worried for them...for there r nothing i can do...
even though one of them said im one of e few tt makes him feel better but in this area, i think i can nvr be like david...for so many ppl feel he is able to be depend and ll tell him their problems...

how i wish they can have more happiness...

AIDs.....still exist?.......

yesterday i went to do art cip at e autesim schol beside my sec school...lol....drew pictures on e walls wif the use of OHP and we painted e walls as well!haha...i got quite an amount of credits on my shoes!feeling proud for tt!=)
i and xs reached school at 12 40 while e time we were suppose to be at school was 12noon..muahhahaha...n in e end it proved tt we have made a intelligent choice...cos they were waiting for bus wif nothing to do during tt 40 mins!

its a gd way of passing times actualli...u ll feel e sense of satisfactory....except there s test e nect day...muhahaha....the mention of test remind me of e 45min of stoning time i had today!its realli stoning....first time experiencing i think...lol...

while we were painting e walls,i n xs talked craps....n in e mid way,we realised xiaoming was quite near to us!he s "eavesdropping" on us!T.T......cos e way we talk s always wif quantity without quality,so we dont remember wad we have said!T.T...
n even though we speaked v loud, but i still think xiaoming should not "eavsdrop" on us!he should cover his ear....>.<
i have lots of thing going through my mind just now on bus cos i cant sleep as my nose feel v uncomfortable in e air-con environment..T.T
i was thinking of wad my mom said last night....she called my hp cos home phone being used...then she said e way i talk to her s like no emotion de....
haiz...i also feel so....remind me of e passage i did in e morning on LEP....no matter how much love our family has for us....we should not be too self-orientated....we cant expect them to understand every emotions of us everytime...
hmmm...i was doing my maths last night....then my GC spoiled....was feeling v pissed at tt time..so ya...n most of e time, i m v bad -tempered at home....like wade passage said again, home tend to be e place whr we throw our emotions....
n i think although i achieved gd grades in o level,i didnt try v hard....tts also y i dont feel so excited after getting e results bah...cos its same like no effort,u wont feel e sense of satisfactory..
to think abt e life im going through now,i realli think i was leading a carefree life at o level time..u dont feel there r much things to revise abt when e school tried to spend a few months on revision...
haiz...i like JC life!but definitely not e work...




AIDs all onlining now...lol..surprisingly...
but dont have e feeling between them like last time le....
donno y...



suddenly dun feel like writing le though there r lots of things in my mind now..
(gaming-addict all e same bah..-.-)

i LOVE 69!^-^

There r always times when u r hurt by others' words bah ..be it with means or without...
i think all we need to do is to not let it affects u...
maybe sometimes we should realli not care much abt others' things....
still remember the time in sec 2...
quite childish bah....cold war wif tt person for 1 whole year!O.O
haha....in e end become v gd in e second year

think i will nvr do tt kind of things le...for im more mature now!>.<

nothing to do now....i slept at 8 last night!n woe up at 7 in e morning
donno wanna mug leh
though tml has maths test
but i think im going to fail again
n week 9 s scary....even to think abt it..

cant remember wad i wanna say le after chatting wif ppl...n i finally understand wads e difference between dota, WoW and warcraft3...o.O.....

haha..

n i wanna go poly also...>.<....they can just anyhow chat wif ppl on msn on lectures...T.T...n search for game forum....-.-

but its sweet to hear so many frenz of mine are going on well in their life...
n i just discovered such a great characteristic of someone!o.O....didnt expect tt..

someone s hurrying me to study...T.T



okay...last thing to say....
I REALLI LOVE 69..^-^

Babi...>.<

just finished talking to David....seems like he s doing well...=)
below s a part of the conver.
"y so many ppl call me babi?such a disgrace leh..."
"no lah...babi is cute mah..."
"ooo...tt means im becoming more cute!"
"zhen de....-.-"
babi doesnt mean cute!!!!!!!!!!in any sense....n stop showing off ur eyes to me!!!!!!!T.T
lol...

anyway..thanks for having talk to me...
haha..feeling better now...but stop nagging at me for tt one thing....-.-....especially when u r having a good time and im not!>.<

well..3 ppl have asked me abt my nickname today le...which is "~~~Meng Jie~~~6,499,697,060 people in e world,y did i choose u?"....
hmmm...i was not in a clear mind when i wrote tt bah...
i may mean a person or a thing..
lol
just feel tt i have made so many decisions....and if i chose e other choice for any of them, will my life be different?

my mom was asking me y am i so quiet during dinner...
donno how to ans..
many things jam together bah..

but cant think any of them now le..cos im feeling better after crap wif haocheng anf fengjun (beside talking abt gpp) and tt babi...o.O....haha

memory

reading others blog can makes u think a lot...
i ruined my plan to do gpp again....T.T..shall blog again just after i sent my first entry for e day...

for a person who tell u what ur problems lies, if tt person s ur best friend, u ll feel he or she s ur true frenz after e problem solved although u may feel sad or demoralised when u got scolded and when all ur problems r revealed...well..i always get scolded for my wrong doing when i was at sec school....T.T...( cos i have one such friend.....) but tt realli helped me a great deal...n i feel e friendship s v true n great...

but if tt person s just someone u r not familiar with, u ll feel tt he or she is going against u , and u ll not forgive tt person easily...
hmmm...human nature?

haiz...how i wish i could have someone scold me n reveal all my bad points and tell me how to change again....tts somehow like another u sharing ur problems...
cos onli u ll noe ur bad points n dare to deal wif it....

suddenly realised how much tt person noe abt human-beings...lol..
strange saying tt..
but tt person noe how to help another person in this way and not hurt him or her in the same time...
o.o realise it onli when i have seen so many ppl cant...
haiz..
but its too late....

what nonsense am i talking abt...-.-
but i think onli i myself can understand bah...

boredom...

im super bored!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ARGH...CANT DO WORK....i have just wasted a whole morning doing nothing...i realli mean nothing...nothing....
n its not just abt cant do my hw...im just damn piss off wif my life recently....for no obvious reasons...
n became obviously v bad tempered....=( feel sori for my grandma....although i didnt show my temper tt much,i noe its there...so feeling sori...haiz...its all my own emotions....i shouldnt have spread to e others...but cant help...haiz...

n this year im always sick....cold...
i used to be v healthy de...T.T

"welcome to my life."----by who?

fake life or real life?
fake personality or real personality?
fake self or real self?
hmmm...there is actually no clear line drawn between them to my belief...
when we live in daily life, we try to package ourself and appear in our best form in front of others...tts some kind of self-protection?well..maybe to some people...but to the others, its something we r used to do, hence we wont show e emotional side outside...
we onli show e emotional,which is e weaker side in front of ppl we put our whole trust upon...ppl we think we can rely on...because we noe this side is not going to earn us any bonus point from ppl we know, n may even deduct points for our image in their hearts(for example...myself...i hate my emotional side sometimes...)...this side can onli be shown to our closest friends cos we noe they will understand and care and concern and will do the best they can for our interests....

Most of the times, its easy to find someone u feel u can trust...but its hard to find someone who realli try to help u and give u suggestions to a great depth...whr u feel this person s reali for ur good....

hmmm....whr am i heading wif this entry?

its a sad thing to feel tt someone talk to u e way like he needs to talk to u instead of feeling like to talk to u...well...quite confusing...but when tts happen,u will lost e interest to continue talking also bah...

sudden thought...hate and love s two extreme opposite feelings....but when u think it again,u will find tt there s actually a v slight difference between them...u hate someone s also because u love tt person,so when he or she did something,which u feel s unforgivable or makes u feel disappointed,then u hate her or him...the difference between someone u love a lot n someone u mind s onli e extent of hate generated bah...y do i say its hate when tt person s someone u love?because if an unrelated person did something unforgivable,u will onli dislike him or her, n stop going near to him or her...however, hate someone will also means u ll remember tt person....aiya....donno how to explain le....

its kinda a torture to both love and hate someone at e same time bah...
tt also shows how important tt person s to u...

haha....said weird things...sudden inspiration...lol...i also donno which part of my saying s true to my life ,which s imaginary..>.<

maybe everything s cause s just human beings' lack of satisfication....


but i wanna be a significant part in ur life...


should tt be stopped?

A variety of Random thoughts....

suddenly remember something...
was chatting wif Joshua yesterday and he said he saw my cousin..lol
n he can sense she s happy...well..i doubt abt sensing others happiness...-.-
but nevertheless,its quite sweet for pc to travel so far....=p
n its so gd tt they can maintain after split schools....i ll pray for them i think..=)
well..i was reading newsapaper(chinese) in e morning and found some articles on NOW quite interesting..shall share wif u all...
think i ll try to translate it into english...as a practice bah...n dont forget i have won prizes on translation de...muahahaha....lol...tts quite useless bah...

the main idea of the article goes on like "There are volcanoes in each and every human beings..the only difference is tt the volcanoe in a mature person is inactive while an active volcanoe is present in a childish person; An inactive volcanoe is always covered wif trees and plants while an active one is covered wif ashes and stones instead. Once a volcanoe erupt, it will take years to recover. it applys to e hidden volcanoe inside us as well,ppl will nvr forget the fierceness u have once shown and e word u threw out can nvr be taken back."so the moral of e story s tt we should try to control our emotion...=)dont let our emotion takes control of us when it should be e mind tt makes e decision.

Here comes a self-test...what s e best time of e day in ur opinion?
two ans available..
1)in e morning
2)in e night

well...the ans r not provided
hahaha
cos i also donno....
but ans to e qn,i think i ll neither choose 1 nor 2...
i ll say its e moment before i sleep.....
its tt moment when we dont have to worry abt e things we have not done well earlier on or the things we need to do later....so its always tt moment when im realli clear minded...as in both free of trouble and clear of thinking tt can clog my true emotion...haha...

just send away xs..

some random thought here.i have not owned a room of myself in this 17 years...
i should have one but because my mom brought all my cousins here to study,hence i dont get a room of my own..
its out of my mom s love tt she bring them here...so i shouldnt say anythings over tt...but sometimes i realli want a room for myself...n its quite strange a family to have so many ppl bah...
n when i think abt it again,will they ever have gratitude over wad my mom is doing?
well...put myself in their position,i wont bah...
cos its more of a human nature..i would rather tend to remember all e scold i got...hmmm....tts something v strange but its happening..

xs said tt she pei4 fu me for able to study under such a noisy environment...well...thanks to my two bro. ....i also pei4 fu myself bah...haha
but no choice ....anyone under this circumstance can onli learn to adapt...

suddenly have so many things came to my mind...haha
well..like wad elaine has shared yesterday..
we give cos we love..n when we give,we invest....hence we ll not want to leave the things we have invested..
so i think running for exco in a club is not just abt tt position bah...hmm...i think its quite true tt when we love e club,it doesnt matter whether we r in e exco or not..but...i think in or not in e exco determine the extent of love we have for it...tts just my thinking bah..haha...

the next week ll be a busy week as well..we ll have to strive hard once more..
i like e moment before i sleep!lol..but we onli get tt once every day..
it limited...just like lots of thing in our life...
so we have to hold on to them...dont make regrets...(remind me of a few things n ppl)

jia you bah...=)