Life of a small gal...

o.o

2007-04-12T19:51:00.000-07:00

wa!~i can finally log on to my blogger after such a long long long long long time...
ah phee...

wonder who ll c this post first.or maybe no one?
haha

i seem to have nothing to write when i can finally write...werido..

lessons going to start soon..
think shall write another time.

happy new year!

2007-02-18T00:50:00.000-08:00

Happy new year!=)
"我本是江湖上一个不为人知的侠士，自从遇见了你，并一口就出了你的名字后，我便有了响当当的头衔-知猪侠！新年快乐！"
“在金猪年，祝你像小猪般可爱，像母猪般伟大，像公猪般神气，像老猪般健康，像烧猪般可口，还有像乳猪般受人欢喜。哈哈！新年快乐！”
hi!ppl...these r all i want to tell u!>.<

went to bianian in e morning...
n going again tml...
mom doesnt seem allow me to go outT.T

i was playing cards with my little brothers who obviously donno how to play....well....
ate steamboat last night n slept at 1 plus....

im feeling quite tired these few days...
seems like didnt have enough sleep...

i can still remember e night in june last year, i received ur msg when a few of us were touring around e ntu campus,i was climbing a road which built on a hill,e sky tt night is as dark as paint,stars were hidden.
n i was confused..

but im no longer confused today...
cos i noe one thing......

unhappiness+anger+disappointment=i sense God ven more

2007-02-06T05:34:00.000-08:00

i was angry with a few things and a few ppl today...

n eventually lead to disappointments...

guess no one can live in harmony with everyone at any time bah...there will always be dispute and unhappy times...

i was feeling so bad today...n esp. e afternoon....haiz....wanted to control my emotions but failed badly today....i noe its v unpleasant to show e others ur anger.....

my EQs is still quite low bah.....

i saw this few pictures sent by my friend when i was checking my e mail just now...

n its makes me feel better...

ya,i still have God=)

=)

2007-01-27T07:17:00.000-08:00

hehe...i suddenly feel tt my blog entry yesterday a bit bad leh...
cos e taxi driver i met today is such a gd one!
he explain to me which hallway can come out through through which part,so now i noe i should go home from KJE....
lol...he is so friendly n helpful...

went to sk s birthday today....hope he likes e pencil box...i think e design not bad lah....just e material is e same as his current one...

its getting late...im going to sleep
=)

disappointments

2007-01-26T02:27:00.000-08:00

Today is friday...
n there r a few things which disappointed me a lotz..
shall talk abt two of them...

the first is so called e 'secret' kept by some ppl...n other ppl became sad abt it...
this kind of secret will surely be known by all ppl sometimes later...
since ppl already noe there r such secrets' existence,n some ppl eventually noe abt it also,n e person involved in e secret is not aware of it even he begs to noe...then y should these ppl make e friendships with so many ppl who wanted to noe badly sour?isnt it silly to affect ur friendships with e others just becos of this little thing?

my sentence struture is bad, but its ok since i understand wat i mean...lol..
for me, i would rather stand neutral...n i dont want to noe abt it anymore..
whats e point?i just dont understand...

n e other is e experiences of taking cab....
i took cab back home today cos was v tired after pe,n i just dont understand y e same route can differ in price from 10-14 excluding e extra charges..
n i saw it clearly tt each time a different taxi driver will drive in different route towards e end of e ride,n some circles one round before reaching my house...
well..some may say tt some taxi driver r not familiar with e road,so we have to give them chances.but y am i always encounter with such a thing?isnt it happening too frequent?
thus,what kind of service is this when the government has been trying to increase e standard of service of taxi driver?especially what im asking for is just e basic service-get e route right!
n e worst case i have met was e ride i took wif my cousins.we just wanted to take e cab to bukit batok to catch a movie..n can u imagine tt e driver took us to bukit gombak?its one whole stop after bukit batok!
sometimes i ll just tell myself im blessing e drivers...
but is this way call blessing?
i feel its cheating.

but again,what more can i do?

lalalallalalalalal.....
anw,e bridge played wif yj,xl n lp was so fun!=)

my life!

2007-01-19T05:53:00.000-08:00

i have got a conclusion from these few days of bus ride tt i ll not get a seat if i take bus at around 6 or 7 pm from school....T.T
so sad.....
but nvrm...
though school days have been busy and tiring,i still feel awesome to be in school...
realli happy tt i chose Hwa Chong despite of e fear of loneliness at e beginning...
n also thank God tt i can stay...

what makes hci unique is e 2 weeks orientation.angel n mortal game,STJ,JTS,dramafeste,huang cheng,n all sorts of concert by various cca group...n of course e class benches...
=)
i feel so blessed to be in such a shool...

n another thing is tt i bought a realli cute n pretty box of sweet from 7-11 today!
its so cute loh...i think i ll keep e box for a v long time...
haha...
its ex. for a sweet....
2.90
hmmm...but i was going for e box mah
hehe

the height and weight machine has been changed in the school...
its now a v hi-tech one which measures our height con weight by censor,n its actualli connected to a laptop...
well...
its kind of weird to c it in e poorly furnitured dance studio....hmmmm....

yahooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
its a friday...can u believe it?
haha...
n i have been late twice this week i think...
there was this special day when i was feeling dizzy and strengthless,i fell asleep onli at KAP n i actualli overshoot by 3 bus stops
T.T

anw....i love my life!
though its so busy n tiring...
hahaha

Forever friend

2007-01-14T04:10:00.000-08:00

A friend walk in when the rest of the world walks out.
somtimes in life,
you find a special friend;
someone who changes your life just by being part of it.
someone who makes you laugh until you can't stop;
someone who makes you believe that there realli is good in the world.
someone who convinces you that there realli is an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it.
This is forever friendship.

When You're down,
And the world seems dark and empty,
Your forever friend lifts you up in spirits
and makes that dark and empty world
suddenly seem bright and full.
Your forever friend gets you through
the hard times,
the sad time, and the confused times.

If you turn and walk away,
your forever friend follows,
if you lose your way,
your forever friend guides you and cheers you on.
your forever friend holds your hand and tells you
that everything is going to be okay.
And if you find such a friend,
you feel happy and complete,
because you need not worry,
you have a forever friend for life,
AND FOREVER HAS NO END.

xsalbum

2007-01-13T21:11:00.000-08:00

These r from ahshu's album...

i started to noe this girl on e bus ride we had together n talking abt e colour of e umbralla Hello Kitty takes..
well...n she forgot e ans.

haha..so u must have already noe her character..

i used to think of her as a v dao person cos her face is always "black black" de..
plua e pair of si yu yan...

lol...
n i forgot what she told me of how she thought abt me...well..negative ones...

we seem to have known each other for long time,but we were not realli...
n from her,i saw how slack rv girls can get to be.
pon lessons,schools n activities...

haha...

so many memories.

i love 69 so much becos of e ppl,especially two..
n one of them is her...

she realli forms one big part of my J1 memory...
it sounds gross,but i miss her....

from e beginning to now

2007-01-13T20:40:00.000-08:00

It's onli till now did i realise dhow emotional i could get...

69 in e beginning...

then 5 kim flowers...haha donno how we came up wif tt name...

the three of us playing chapter...haha..n in this photo my handsign is wrong...lol

me n th

me n this woman...T.Tu cause me a lot of emotional ups n downs in 2006 k?

now came 07s69...

they r a fun n enthu bunch of ppl=)

n i actualli miss e seniors...

us in secondary school uni. except me.

girls!

guys!

i love 69.becos of e ppl...from e beginning to now.

camp fire

2007-01-12T08:53:00.000-08:00

Today is a happy,crazy but tiring day.
its not v happening in e morning but just usual lessons n breaks...
everything started off with e few of us went to watch this movie called Blood Diamond.
its so so so nice!
i love it lah...
its abt the conflict diamond in South Africa,i dont actualli noe how to describe it, however, it did arouse some awareness in us tt it costs lifes to actualli have e supply of the diamond which most of e girl dream to have.
n another thing is e appreaciation of being borned n living in a peaceful society.

n heard them talking abt all sorts of interesting of e army when eating before going to e cinema...
i love tt cinema...i like e design of the wall n everything...
beautiful!

n later on when we get back school(we took cab),we joined in e fun of e camp fire...though its raining,the atmosphere is still v high!
however, i feel it would be better if everything carrys out in e central plaza...haha

went to eat wif e junior class.
after walking a long way in e rain,we then realised tt place is closed or too many ppl,which i didnt bother to ask..so we decided to all sit down on e floor inside e plaza n bought mac. to eat..
then played games together...hehe...its fun.

however, as we got ready to go home,we realised how hard it was to hop on an empty cab...
y do i say tt?
its becos when so many of us r waiting for a cab,which can take us back home fast in e rain at such a late timing.however,it seems like tt all e cab driver ignored us n continue drove on...
onli did my mom called me then i realised what was going on.
she said tt its no surprise tt we can flag down a cab at this hour cos e drivers wanna earn e mid night fare which is after 00:00...
whether its true or not, i feel disgusted by it.
we waited 20 minutes n walking from places to places in e rain trying to get a cab which can help us out, however,it didnt happen untill then tt we finally get through e telephone line n called taxis...
by e time i reached home, my fare is 10.60 plus 5.80...
-.-
the driver took a longer road loh!
>.<
so cheat lah...
it reminded me of last time when i n my cousins took cab to bukit batok n he actualli got us to bukit gombak,which is one stop further...

i donno whether they will feel happy even if they did earn e extra mid night charge.....

Angel N Mortal

2007-01-11T05:45:00.000-08:00

there was cca exhibition yesterday...
i was exhausted....
as a result,i slept from 10 plus last night to 6 in e morning...
n onli did then i realised i was late for school!!!!!!!!!
i rushed out of my house in 15 min time counting from e moment i opened my eye...
haha
tts astonishing...
lol

i enjoyed writing to xs...
i can write of a load of the things tt have happened in my daily life...
i truelly miss e first 3 months or even 6 months of Jc1...

n also e Angel n Mortal game i played wif e seniors...
i have got realli gd angel n mortal,n onli did i realised it now...
n so does xs...

i saw e test tube tt my mortal gave me..haha...there is a note inside of course...
it brought back memory of J1,but i think tts e onli note i have kept...
well...

saw e seniors on wed..
feeling like kind of envy them n also not...
envy them of finishing A level...
n not envy them cos their JC life has ended...

i was sad when i didnt get reply from both my angel n mortal..especially my angel who did not take e packet which had been placed in e box for 3 days...
i was not sad just becos of this,but its tt i have realli gd memory of this game,probably becos i n xs both get v gd angel n mortal.so this time,i expect e same thing,but it didnt happen...
tts what disappointed me....

there is maths test tml...but i guess i ll start revising during e break before tt...
hehe...

=)

2007-01-05T06:11:00.000-08:00

i was happy after reading xs's reply...
=)
seems like she adapt to the evironment well...
hopefully she will feel e same way when she enters e school....
ahpheeeee....
just clarified with rr,tt "steeped"means saturated,soaked,drenched...tt also means,someone who is involved in something a lot...like reading novels or whatsoever...

repent

2007-01-05T04:38:00.000-08:00

As I was reading the article in the issues and ideas on the title of"The Rape Of Nanking",i feel so heavy inside...
its a full 6 n half pages article..
i took some time read it..n of course i was absorbed in it.

In this centuary, we could merely imgaine or even thought about such atrocities,however, it did happened...
so lucky i was not born during tt time.

once heard from a teacher who had travelled to Germany and saw photos of the World War two placed in the first storey of a building, Germans understand the need to repent and always remind themselves of e painful history..
However, Japanese dont...

learnt something from e article tt sounds interesting...
it says:
"Other experts blame the non-christian nature of Janpanese religion,claiming that while christianity puts forth the idea that all humans are brothers-indeed,that all things were created in God's image. Citing such differences,these experts have concluded that some cultures,however sophisticated they become,remain at their core tribal,in that the obligations the individual owes to others within the tribe are very different from those owed to outsiders."

God is a gd God=)

"...because moral obligations in Japanese society were not universal but local and particularized,they could be easily broken on foreign soil."

n there are still many descriptions on the massacre took place in Nanking...

didnt realliread such kinds of article for long time...

hmmmm....
i still have 6 articles to read n do AQT.T
so sad.....

mess

2007-01-01T23:06:00.000-08:00

y is my life in such a mess?
i cant understand...

breakthrough

2006-12-30T21:00:00.000-08:00

Have not been online for such a long time...
ahphee...
haha...
seems like going a lot these days without notice..
n reading book..
lol
half way throught it
i need to write a book review for GP
T.T
cry ah

i wrote in Chinese cos i noe if wrote in English will be v saddening
then i cant continue to write..
lol
no special meaning in writing in chinese...

Autralia...
hmmm...
so many ppl went there...
seems like i ll need to visit there once in e future..

3 of my best frenz r already there
n one more to go...
realli feel affected earlier on bah

anw,yj s birthday passed by smoothly
=)
hehe

n i love e hp accessory i made
unfortunately i lost it
T.T
so sad so sad

anwi love e bag!
haha

n yesterday s service is great!
i feel like i had not been church for a long time
haha
quite weird feeling

猫醒了

2006-12-26T06:45:00.000-08:00

猫醒了。。。

一只受伤的猫

2006-12-26T05:53:00.000-08:00

今天雨不大，可却使人感到冰冷
猫本就是多疑的动物，它喜欢独处
只有对某些人，才会流露出它的另一面

最近，它受伤了
不是小伤，很严重
它痛，可是它不说，因为它的心麻木了

它在以前也曾受过伤，是的，那时的它也付出了很多
可那时的它单纯得像个孩子
它不知迁就
不懂怎样跟他相处

一报还一报吧

它为了他’改变了这么多，变得连他都不认得自己了
而它义无反顾
它可以在他’伤心时逗他开心
可以花更多的时间,心思与金钱在他’身上

可他’似乎不懂猫

猫痛了
真得痛了
也很累

猫缩成一团
睡了

christmas

2006-12-25T07:42:00.000-08:00

today is christmas..
i have mixed feeling...

was quite angry n sad in e morning..
n tt feeling arouse again later in e afternoon...
but e game was fun.
so does e singing n ur birthday celebration...

hmmm...dont like to feel left out bah...
was quite sad tt when someone gave so many ppl presents but left u out...didnt realli demand on e quality of e present,just e remembrance..

still v thankful for ppl who gave me little stuffs..
n e present exchange,e cd which i ll try to play later..

n i love e cat...
lol
cat is a suspicious animal, n always alone...
well...im like cat?
haha

ur brithday falls on e 28th which is a few days later..
hope its going to be as nice as tt in my mind...

christmas eve...

2006-12-23T22:50:00.000-08:00

ha!im always so last minute!
haha
secondary graduation night,i went to buy clothes tt same afternoon...
n today i went to buy christmas presents e morning of christmas eve...
hehehehe
christmas is not onli santa clause or what, its e birth of Christ!
God give his only son, Jesus gives his life
so christmas is also a season of giving!
mom n dad have given me so much, n they will continue giving me in their whole life..
what can i do in return?
by helping them with e housework or taking care of brothers?
but thats limited of what i can do for im still a 17 yrs old girl who loves all e fun things in this world..
so what else can i do?
by giving them e warmest wishes this christmas...

there r five love languages n different ppl have different ones...
for me, giving is my love language....
=)

bought my brothers each a toy from toys R us
my mom, a lucky leaf pendant from moshimoshi...
mo father a shirt from mizuno..
my aunt a gift set from body shop..
n u....hmmmm...shall not tell u first!hehehehe

n guess what?today is my cousin s birthday as well!
wolalala
as for him, a log cake from breadtalk n a bag from zinc which i bought e other day!

n it makes me remember something...
thank u!=)i love e shirt n jeans...they r nice

e day before christmas eve...

2006-12-23T08:13:00.000-08:00

y is everyone throwing harsh words at me?
what have i done wrong?
or maybe everything i have done r wrong...

will i grow to become someone who trusts no one?

when was e last time i cried?

everything seems so miserable...

yet yesterday and a few hrs ago are still bright days...

_e day before christmas eve
_my tears dried...

my heart.....

2006-12-20T01:15:00.000-08:00

"You're talking to me, reveals the things that I must know...."

God, y is life going on this way?
there is a purpose?

y did the two things happen in one day?

read the newspaper in the morning
n there is this article talking abt something like when u establish relationship before 17,there is chance tt u may get some mental problem...
well...i donno whether tts true...
i feel one ll get more mature after ur first love...

y am i becoming so suspicious of what ppl said to me?
am i having some mental problem?hmmmm....

argh!!!!!!!!!!!
i was feeling like cryin...
one was thinking of going out wif u happily last time...
another was after reading ur' e mail....
haiz....

im a bad girl.....
i am right?

Hey
阳光多耀眼
天空那边
希望你也是晴天
My Friend
I'll Be There
分享你所有喜悦
Alrighr
就这么简单
和你
透过真心交换
My Friend
我永远都在

---Sun Ho 你永远都在（片断）

a lesson i should have learnt

2006-12-17T00:06:00.000-08:00

im feeling real sad now...
but e thing i have learnt is tt although a close friendship feels good, its hard to maintain once something happens.
becos u expect more from tt person?
well...i have seen it so many times....n most r typical example...

i love my God...
He is my Lord...

i love this photo...

photo

2006-12-12T20:39:00.000-08:00

i love this photo~

fj's photography skill is pro!lol

mixed feeling

2006-12-12T18:31:00.000-08:00

i donno whr to start writing...
i should not have expect ppl to treat u sincerely when u r still a childish girl back then...
when we grow older,we suspect things we see or we hear...
tts a gd sign...

but just dont treat me as a stupid girl who noes nothing!

i feel angry...

last sat. attended service, which is great...
i had been troubled abt whether i have e energy to complete whatever i want..
n pastor shared abt,instead of worrying tt,y dont praise God for what He has put in ur life...

=)

year 2006

2006-12-08T00:10:00.000-08:00

i have spent 7hours before i did one topic of the happy package...
n here i am,coming online once more...
is it because of the drawning of the year-end so that i am so emotional?
hmmm...should i also do a recall of what have happened in e past one yr?i miss 2006 though we r still in 2006...its a year which i will not forget easily..maybe some details will be drift away by time but e memory will be lingering in my mind...

Jan
-came to HCI
-orientation
-69
-wallgame
-mass dance

Feb
-a girl called xs entered my life
-going out
-talking
-slacking
-crying

Mar
-my birthday
-presents
-a period of ups and downs
-a mixed feeling
-there is dramatic changes in e class

Apr
-i joined calli?
-xs s birthday

May
-LEP camp
-a turning point

June
-i cant remember

July
-playing
-studying

August
-received a card unexpectedly
-a nice meal
-some gifts

Sep
-mom s birthday

Oct
-promo
-MAF
-Openhouse

Nov
-op
-trip to China

Dec
-it mean for study,but did i?

there r so many thoughts i have right now...i cant organise them in complete paragraph that makes sense....

i like sociable beings
i like funny people
i like active ones

becos tts not what im filled with...

the class 69 is e reason for me missing school sometimes.
i love this class unexpectedly...

so many of my friends left to Australia n some r going to US next yr..
whr will i be e yrs follow?

there is an ending of a relationship
a running away from a relationship
and a period of waiting for a relationship

its a happening year,so unexpectedly..
just realise that the frequency of using this word is high in this entry...

n i just start to wondering what life i have had actualli?
did i realli try to study hard?yes,i did...but tts onlia after i have wasted almost 7 months...tts a lot in a year..
my cousin is applying for u nowadays..
she has two s-papers,one nus research paper,high SAT score...
n what do i have?
life is like tt bah...
its not like what i have said,i ll onli concentrate on doing the current things well,i didnt do tt at all...

cca...did i realli put in my role?
i think my cca leaders must be v disappointed of having such exco...
n through e calli teacher said i have some sort of talent in calli..but i have never practiced other than e cca times...who to blame if i cant write well?
is this e attitude i should have in order to become a successful person?

actualli im not going for to become a successful career woman.
all i want is a blessful family and a happy self...
isnt tt easy?
no,tts not easy at all,tts all it takes in life...

am i a strong person or a weak one?
i have labelled myself with each of them before,but i dont even noe the truth now...
i think there wont be a definite character for eveyone bah..

am i petty or am i generous?

am i kind or am i evil?

am i pretty or am i ugly?

these r all things that wont be definite for everyone..
y seeking to know the ans?

happy is when u feel satisfy about life...

no title

2006-12-07T06:34:00.000-08:00

hmmm...
y am i becoming somehow a bit miserable/down/pessimistic these days?
is it becos of entering e realistic life?hmmm...i miss e days in beijing where i dont have to worry anything but just eat,sleep and play...
i feel v luan4 now...
whats next yr going to be like?
hardwork+hardwork+harkwork?
hmmm....
seriously i became dislike Singapore's living style...
its a busy city,a fast living-pace society...
we have to think before act...time seems to flow and also seems to be stagnant...
could i just slack through e days or should i start to work hard?
e decision is not guaranteneed...
aiya..i donno what im talking abt...
haiz...

argh!

2006-12-06T07:01:00.000-08:00

T.T
im feeling v sad now...haiz...
i donno whether its becos my mom miss me too much when i was away so she keep on sort of scolding me these days or is it tt im not used to parent restrictions after e trip to beijing....
haiz..i miss beijing...

n i just realise e tian cai in hotmail is xs....-.-.....fine...i always delete mails sent by this tiancai cos i dont like "his" name....well.....-.-....no comment....

hwT.T

2006-12-05T04:47:00.000-08:00

ahhh!!!!!!!!!
im starting to think abt e load of hw
T.Tcry le
i have onli finished one of e LEP reports....ahhhhh
i shall start doing physics from tml
i need to do.....
>.<

beijing....

2006-12-04T02:56:00.000-08:00

Haha...just read kimmin s blog...lol
have so many things to say....
haha...
kimmin ate a lot of fan he while i ate a lot of restaurant food...lol...realli restaurant food loh....10 ppl on one table...n we had 10 plus dishes e least...sometimes 20 plus....
we forced ourselves to eat loh...cos dont want to waste...
then we played zhong ji mi ma...lol...then fj kept on lose lah!
e next day was meT.Tcos i sat beside her....
lol...
e hotel in beijing is nice!i miss e breakfast there....n e beijing ppl...
n we didnt expect e hostel in shanghai has tv,aircon,bathroom!2 ppl in one room...
well...we like beijing v much but dont like shanghai leh....v bored...haha...
we watched lots of performance...
there was a time we went to this performance which was watched by e poor ppl during e Qing dynasty...
oh my....its gross loh...
a person wif big tummy took out a knife n cut e wood...then he cut his stomach!T.Thave sound somemore...T.T...then nothing happen...then he did again cos e guys wanted...T.T....my goosebumps were all over....
of course there r other performances...haha...
many ppl said fj n i looks alikeT.Tsome even say they cant differentiate us...n tts 10 days after....
well...i have no comment...lol...
i just miss beijing!T.T

im back!

2006-12-04T01:33:00.000-08:00

im finally back!
=)
feel so happy...
although most of them feel like staying at beijing longer,i feel like coming back at once(yet,i still wanna go beijing once more in e future cos its a beautiful city,most imtply,i want to go wif u)....e result is.....they laughed at me a lotT.T
whats there to laugh mah....>.<>. <
e gd thing is im back!
some ppl didnt want to come back cos of e hw...but i donno y,i feel like coming back.its not tt im not afraid of e hw...but as long as im in S'pore...hmmm...they laughed at me T.T

ahhh....i donno what to say.,..such a random entry...
haha

e conclusion is, im SO HAPPY to come back!
cos i MISS u
n u guys=)

God,i need u..

2006-12-04T00:20:00.000-08:00

i was blogging abt "i love beijing"
but after reading someone s blog...
i feel like a change of mood
i just feel like talking abt things

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
hmmm...actualli i have also doubt abt some of e things she said...but i think its a better way t0 not think abt so much...to me.God is a support when u r weak...it may be like some ppl said tt religion is just a human's blieve,which we call faith..religion can bring ppl energy n encouragement.sometimes when ppl have wicked thought,the thought of tt there is someone with u may put those thoughts away

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
well...tts what i understand of religion bah

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
yup... but then the thing is God is real...

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:and christianity is not jus a religion...

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
It takes faith to believe something there when u cant see...

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
Some ppl claim to have faith, yet in their hearts its empty

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
to them, God is something out there but unreal, jus a figment of their imagination

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
It takes a real personal encounter for one to truly sense that God is real...

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
it is hard to differentiate wad is real and wad is jus our imagination...

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
maybe im just a baby-christian bah...but to me,i can sense God onli when im having a hard time...

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
i donno whether tts enough cos i didnt experience more than tt yet

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
haha

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
God works in many ways that we cannot see

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
u know that day i charge ur phone?

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
i tried for 1 hour

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
i cant charge...

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
then i jus start to pray abit...

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
jus in tongues... in a few minutes i managed to charge it le

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
haha

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
Like wad she said we cannot determine when coincidences happen

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
yep

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
how do we know

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
but when coincidences happen too much

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
its not a coincidence anymore

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
but the problem is, whenever we pray coicidence happen

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
ya..maybe not totally what we wish for...but its still gd

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
She said y people become succesful without God

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
its very simple...

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
God's Word is always true, reap wad u sow

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
it does not only happen to christians

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
God's Word is for everyone..

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
Then is there a need for God?

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
If u are able to understand that it was God that had planned all this, yet don feel thankful its very self-centered...

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
Its like ur parents bringing u up, yes though the child may be disobedient, yet the parent wil still care for the child

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
Its funny the way she puts it...

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
she sort of agrees to the existance of God, yet refuses to admit that God is real

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
haha

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
i donno leh

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
like so many things happened when im away

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
not really

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
i din know also until yesterday

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
o.o

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
you have to stay strong in ur conviction loh...

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
everyone has to make that decision... whether to believe that God is true or not

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
To stand in the middle is jus bringing trouble to urself only.. =)

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
hope huai huai will udnerstand

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
actualli my heart get stirred when reading cd s blog

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
but i understand what i believe in~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:n i noe what i want

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
wad u mean get stirred? o.O

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
u ask me anything bah... i don wan to stumble u..

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
i just mean like sometimes i just dont feel e presence of God during service,so i feel restless...

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
n sometimes i cant feel e presence in daily life too

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
but God touches my heart too

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
like when i was in China

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
e day before i came back

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
i was in e bus to a place

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
n e sky is v unique...its like there is a hole(white) in e all blue sky

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
there is no cloud tt day so e sky is all blue

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
i just feel like there is someone up there oh

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
then i start to miss church v much

~~~Mengjie~~~I'm BACK!=) 说:
n God

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
i sometimes too find it hard to feel His presence...

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
Yet He says draw near to Him and He will draw near to u

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
Pastor always say

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
ur mind moves fast, yet ur heart moves slow

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
God wans to touch ur heart

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
not ur mind..

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
Sometimes it seems like He is not there at all, but actually He is always there...

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
the times u don feel like praying or praising God, the more u shld do it..

@rRmaGa3dD0n : : 梦境 : : With you... the love lasts forever... also with You.. : : 说:
Praise is a sacrifice,

to choose whether to believe is like a decision in ur life...
it determines ur life...
hmmm...i had worried abt how am i going to survive after pledging to e building fund...
yet,i noe now tt God realli blesses u in many ways...
like what someone has once said,we may be empty-pocket,but we will never be in lack.
yes,n im not empty-pocket,i have more than sufficient...God realli blesses me so much in all ways.

...

2006-11-16T05:39:00.000-08:00

Going China in a few days time...
some people said they so envied me for able to go but i dont feel e sense of excitement...
its not becos e place is China,just becos i dont want to leave Singapore...
hmmm...or to be exact,people here...
although e journey is quite packed with all sorts of thing..but i would rather there r more freetime...so i can go buy stuffs...hmmm...
k bah....i go maple le..

2006-11-11T22:36:00.000-08:00

i feel real irritaed now...
i dont want to do anything...
i want to disappear...
i just dont want to do anything in life...

allergy

2006-11-10T04:59:00.000-08:00

have had allergy to something n i got rashes all over my body starting from e neck to e toes...
it was such an unbearable experienceT.T
especially last night 12o clock....T.T
T.T
T.T
cried until my eyes were swollen like goldfish in e morning...
i dont quite noe how i fall asleep..
while listening to songs?
hmmm...
n e prayer from u?
lol....
ate mac. in e morning before going to c doc.!
hehe
i waited so long for e doc. even though its a private clinicT.T
but i guess its much better than polyclinic....
but then polyclinic de check more carefully...
i remember e other time i went cos of allergy,e doc. even asked me to do a blood testo.o
lol...
e doc. today gave me an injection on my arm after one look at e rashes.
my arm is like numb....n i feel dizzy.....T.T
v dizzy loh...
n i sleep a lot today...
haha...im onli starting to become less dizzy now...
but i have just eaten my medicine so i think e drowsiness will haunt me again...haha....whatever,at least i can sleep well...
hmmm....
im so happy those rashes r gone!
cos they look horrible!T.T

n another thing,pw is finally over!!!!!!!!!!!!
muhahahaha
i feel so happy for tt
i dont feel a bit shi luo gan leh
lol
so happy for its end
hahaha

guardian

2006-11-06T06:02:00.000-08:00

i donno what kind of days shall i call them...
haiz...
just feeling v sad tt one problem settle and another arise...
outside of home and inside of home...
i realli dont feel e warmth at home...
maybe its just like what my mom said bah,i dont treat home as home...
how can it be call a home when ur parents r so busy wif working and u can merely c them...

i have always thank God for giving me tt particular thing which i feel so happy abt...im going to believe Him for His plan..

im feeling quite tired...
feel like sleeping but donno whether i can fall asleep.

watched the guardian for the second time...
so others may live....
its a nice show bah...
i wont let go...

the guardian

2006-10-26T05:35:00.000-07:00

This has been kept alive and moving since 9/11. In memory of all those who perished this morning; the passengers and the pilots on the United Air and AA flights, the workers in the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, and all the innocent bystanders. Our prayers go out to the friends and families of the deceased.

IF I KNEW

If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.

There will always be another day
to say "I love ! you,"
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do?"

But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,
That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear

Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.

have had watched the guardian today....its a nice show!n touching!i mean real touching....
i have not been feel like crying after watching many movies,but this particular one touched my heart and i teared....
T.T

"so others may live."

education

2006-10-24T21:45:00.000-07:00

Suddenly thought abt the term "education"...
whats e impt thing of education tt parents stress so much upon....
n the ans is v simple...
like what miss claire has said...
education and the certificate is the only thing that parents can give us to guaranttee our future...
isnt tt true?
tts what the parents can do....

well...im a bit confused over whether i should take H3 ...
will i be able to cope?
will i lose the chance and regret it later?

regret?

2006-10-14T19:12:00.000-07:00

i had read someone's blog tt says things like "you'll surely regret what u've said and done..." some days earlier and it realli struck me and made me think abt a few things...just feel like writing it down...
i donno whether its what only me will think in this way....

girls wont regret what we have said and done towards relationship....becos we onli let it go when we noe its becoming hopeless and helpless...
we may onli rethink abt it but wont regret abt it...

im just a bit shocked to see this sentence again...n it made me think how e guys think....
do they realli think e girls ll regret or they just say it out of their pride?
hmmm...
thats something i have been ponder over....
well...
i have no comments....

lol...just some random thoughts,not pointing towards anyone=)

smell

2006-10-12T05:31:00.002-07:00

i have thought about it a lots of times that we,human beings are actualli quite sensitive towards smell...
whether bad smell or gd ones...
i like it when a person's smell which could actualli put me in a dreaming state.....>.<

just talked to my mom about the 3 days "chalet"....haiz.....seems like my mom s still treating me as a small kid who do not noe how to take care of herself..well...i was quite angry...but experiences has told me that quarrel is nvr a gd solution even if u are right...

i have been experience this pain since last night.....argh.....i feel so bad.....y woman have to suffer this?T.T

hmmm....guess my writing is quite random....
well....it seems always so random...so it should be alright....hehe

smell

2006-10-12T05:31:00.001-07:00

smell

2006-10-12T05:31:00.000-07:00

post-exam period

2006-10-10T00:51:00.000-07:00

sitting in the library....eyes paining...i wanna sleepT.T
today isnt a v happy day at e start...
so many things happened...
im not realli v satisfied with my results for so many people did so well...
well,tts something i guess im too ambitious about,but im just still not used to the feeling of not getting gd results.
n im amazed at myself in handling some stuffs today....(well....this is quite random,not in much relation to the previous saying)
not to mention those in e beginning....
there was this moment i felt so happy n thrilled but
the sudden sadness took over my heart not long after...
all i felt was so helpless...
but thank God,everything s going back to e normal track once more...

lol...finished half way the other time,im now in my home..going to sleep soon....there is spring cleaning tmlT.T.....y y?so bad.....spring cleaning.....then can i still eat breakfast?
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....

i dont realli noe how im feeling right now...i dont feel tt happy as i imagined i would for getting gd results...i seem like starting to focus more on the process...
its the ability to handle stresses and take on so many things at one go tt makes me so amazed of myself...i donno how i passed the past few months....
there are more to come certainly...but what we can do is to adopt the skill of getting over our failure fast so we can be well prepared when another challenge comes along.
the results definitely make me happy as well for i noe my hardwork has paid off....for both the time i spent on studying and the time i spent on stressing...was realli v stressed before the promo bah....
n i just realised tt elaine prayed for us before phy paper right?n we jumped e same no. of grade compare to block test...=)

lets relax in nov. n start preparing for block test from dec. !

spring cleaning!T.T

Promo over!im singing:D

2006-10-04T02:54:00.000-07:00

hahahahaha....Exam is over.....*im singing*....:D =x guess some people just got their exam starting....hehe....lol....(oops....sori...im too thrilled le....but then hor,v sad leh....cos tml has two cca s meeting..T.Tdiscussing abt openhouse n mis autumn festival de....>.<....hope i didnt get any words spelled wrongly....or it would be too embarrase le...just after examT.T)

o.o....my intro so long....
today isnt a v "interesting" day....cos i got to school early in the morning as usual then after SPA,i suddenly enlightened by fj today is wednesday...n what does tt mean?i forgot to sign consent form n today is somehow the deadline?so....e result is i went back home to take the form n went to find my parents to sign e form n went back school again...n after i count, im amazed to find out that i spent around 4 hr plus on bus ride altogether today!T.Ttts i sixth of a day leh!>.<....im murdering myself....T.T....n i got so tired i slept all the way through....hmmm....tts something im more happy about lah...cos i have not been sleeping on bus since the start of the promo...o.o

last week after service,i have the sudden urge that i should use what God has given me to bless the others too... what can i do?of course not financially bless others cos i cant do so much...but by helping students in their o level...of course tts a enlightenment by God...n He gave me a direction yesterday....just heard my cousin didnt do very well in his prelim...guess i ll try to offer my help bah....
im feeling so great tt i have Him to give me so many directions n encouragements in life....

to someone who is sleeping on bus now,sleep well!have a nice dream=)hehe.....

indecisive

2006-09-12T07:11:00.000-07:00

Finally got in....ah phee.....-.-
My eyes are very painful now....T.T
yet,still need to do LEP!>.Oh my....

should i sleep?hmmmm...but its bad not to do it...what should i do?

im such an indecisive person....-.-
it can be seen from so many things...
haha...for lots of time,i would just stand in front of the items im wishing to buy n cant decide the colour i want or which brand de is better quality...lol...
is it a bad characteristic?
hmmm...well....both sided bah....

the sermon last week is good....=)
n the quite time wif the Lord is greater the following day...

Ate ice cream in the afternoon...so tasty!>.its so so so nice>.<
T.Ti want eat again!!!

okie...guess its time to go do work le>.<...or should i sleep?

haha...i ll use "some" time to deicide on tt=)

protection

2006-09-04T08:54:00.000-07:00

Is it something right to protect someone when u have to make the other person sad?
hmmm..i will remember what i have said .maybe i ll regret it one day,but i can hardly c the day coming...
yet deep in my heart, i still feel a sense of sadness for ur condition now...
but is there anything i can do?am i being too cruel?
i donno...but i want to protect the person that is so precious to me...
yet i feel im being too cruel to tt other person i regard as frenz who had helped me ....
but i cant resist of saying those words cos i noe tts e best solution out..i dont want to be caught in an awkward condition...

"suddenly the sermon in the marriage course appeared in my mind..."
"thank you, Lord. for enlightening me."

k bah, it doesnt feel gd when u c the person whom u have protected with everything said something abt almost lost feelings bah...
yet,i noe he will not de...n He will not too...cos its the path He has choosen for me...It was once His enlightment helped me too...so its a blessing bah...=)

off i go....going to bed...sleep le...
gd nitez!

blieve,treasure,hold on...

2006-08-28T06:00:00.000-07:00

Im so deeply in blieve with that God has a plan for every single one of us.
N i simply cant count how many times had He talked to me...i acted according to His words,and everything worked out fine.i was impressed times to times when pastors shared about the same things He has told me in e later on days....morever,He reminds me the importance of things He has placed upon in my life before im going to face extreme challenge...n there is always Him there "caught me in the mercy fallout"...

n I'm going to treasure the things He has planned for me in my life more ever than before...

y Devil succeeds in things they do? because their words are so sweet to hear.
But we noe they are there to disrupt and destroy our lifes,so never surrenders to them...Hold on to Him...
When the world seems to stop its motion, there is still Him...

2006-08-28T04:27:00.000-07:00

It has been such a long long time since i last blogged...cos i didnt online for long time!>.i guess my eyes will hurt tml cos im here onlining to write LEP compoT.T....y e teacher gave us extra to do...i objected!
Today was one of the saddest days i have ever had...didnt realli talk to much ppl...T.T
think i was in my own world bah..
the feelings inside of me were something which i would nvr want to have again...
but,isnt tt what makes me a living human being?
well...guess i would rather stay as a human being bah...not horse-.-....specially addressed to someone......donkey!white-nie....
hmmm...dont want to remember of it anw le...am i having short-term memory?yes,certainly i am...

kk...starting to write essay!

empowerment

2006-08-19T22:56:00.000-07:00

Have had a wonderful day..
though it started with me unable to do works, it is still a blessed day....
cos the encounter wif God in the afternoon empowers me....
n Dr. Bernard s preaching is realli gd!

as a result, i finished my alcohol n carbonyl tutorials in around 1 hr plus time!
powerful right>
hehe..another reason is cos of the msg recieved in the morning...
they are realli a fantastic "gd morning" to me...=)

going to do maths n phy this afternoon..n I nR...o.O....

blur n guilty me....

2006-08-18T20:08:00.000-07:00

What's call a sleep?
the ans is sleep from 6 plus pm until 7 plus am...
well..tts a luxurious thing to do in this period of time...
as a result,im feeling guilty....
especially when i cant do any works right now in the morning..
well...

the conclusion is tt im feeling guilty and blur!
T.T

is sleeping a gd thing or a bad thing?

i realli cant do anything right now...how?
i can foresee myself realli frustrated tml...

I miss u a lot right now...
haiz....
what shall i do now?

2006-08-14T07:51:00.000-07:00

"When I'm weak, you are strong."
Plz help me to hold on and stay strong...

Today started off with me missed my bus and alighted at the high school bus stop and nearly late for morning assembly..
LEP lessons today isnt realli normal..n the reality of the society struck me in face once more...
maybe we were realli living in a "beautified" world...
we cant do what we want in life but we must enjoy what we do...peifen told me this yesterday...ya...true...but its hard, so as to learn the way to be a person..

If we are not mean to be together, we will be separated long ago in the first half of the year...
i have been praying today on the bus to school n back home...
i ll be by ur side de...
you are the first person whom i realli put down all my pride to seek for reconcilliation when there are problems aroused.
I really appreaciate to have you be with me...sometimes i just feel im not as gd...just like today...
shall not talk abt who is right or wrong bah....there might be no one's faults at all but words cant be taken back once they are out.I have acknowledged the harsh actions on my part and apologised immediately after i realised it. Although i still dont agree with the things he did,maybe the way he did things bah, i understand its not my right to say those harsh words.i apologise sincerely once again for my words and actions.

Lean on His power...
i remembered there was once in the service where pastor shared about not to focus on the problem but the solution...becos focus on the problems will only discourage u more.
He gives us empowerment but not to rescue us all the times.
faith=soluition
fear=problem

It's great to play badminton wif u...n the dinner is nice=)

yelaoshi shared with us a lots of her experiences...they are realli enlightening bah...n its realli the true life...

out of a sudden, i cant differentiate people...things and all...
life is a dream?
hmmm....

salvation is here and he lives in me

2006-08-13T07:55:00.000-07:00

Gob above all the world in motion
God above all my hopes and fears
I dont care what the world throws at me right now
It's gonna be alright
Hear the sound of the generations
making loud our freedom song
All in all that the world would know your name
It's gonna be alright
Cause i know my God saved the day
And i know His word never fails
N i know my God made a way for me
SALVATION IS HERE
SALVATION IS HERE AND HE LIVES IN ME
SALVATION IS HERE
SALVATION THAT DIES JUST TO SET ME FREE
SALVATION IS HERE
SALVATION IS HERE AND HE LIVES IN ME
SALVATION IS HERE
cause you are alive and you live in me

have just had conference call...but its onli me n peifen...does it still call conference call?hmmm...lol....its okie bah...as long as the purpose is there....praying just now feels great...its the first time im praying in language but not tongue bah...n i realised its also good to pray in language...=)i was feeling a bit awarkward at the start but everything just flowed out naturally as times goes by...
and there is peace in my heart...

i will never regret of coming to know God and made the salvation...
and recieve the Holy Spirit...

salvation is here and he lives in me,salvation is here...

Firework

2006-08-08T08:58:00.000-07:00

tonight's firework may not be the best scene i have seen...but yet,inside of me....no other firework can compare to this..

its nice to lay ur head upon someone when its getting too heavy to carry..

Although i sweated a lot, i would nvr want to be apart from u..
its just like no matter how much i have teared inside,i would nvr choose to leave u...

i wont deny the happiness u have given me...
they are so real...

i want to be that bone taken out of u...

have had a great day out...
there are difficult times but they are there to testify us...n for more understanding...

gd nitez!>.<....

shut down

2006-08-03T23:11:00.000-07:00

i seem like shutting down my emotion from the World recently..
all the feelings are burried inside...who else can feel it beside me?
it seems to remind me of lots of thing
but im learning to not reveal tt much of my feelings even though my heart is aching...
is tt gd thing?

guess its a gd thing bah...
it my sadness..its not gd to have it impact on other ppl' lifes...
just like what miss claire said when discussing abt e abortion issue..
the mother is selfish and she doesnt want to make her child suffers due to her selfishness..so might as well not let e child come to this world..
but there is difference..

i would not abort my child,if i have one in e future , due to tt kind of reason..
but rather, i ll try hard to change what is not gd in me..
changing always take sarcrifice.be it to the gd mean or bad mean..

ministry

2006-08-02T05:56:00.000-07:00

had been kept busy since Sunday's service...didnt really sit down and write down my thoughts... Sitting in Hall 8, i was really feeling terrible after singing with an empty stomach...it had been almost 24 hrs since i last ate a proper meal...n i cannot concentrate on what pastor. Mike was saying...
n i know my attitude is bad to u at tt point of time..i know it but i cant control... T
his kind of feeling always come to me in my life..n it makes me feel worse as expected..
I didnt expect myself to go for the ministry after the service at all cos i was realli stoning after stepping out of the hall.. thank u for the hotdog...it makes me feel better=)
n then elaine and shifu came,elaine shared quite a bit with me about the ministry.. so out of no whr,i felt like tearing and i wanted to go to the ministry..
what happened later on is really what i count as a miracle to me... i may not have believed what this ministry can do in our lifes totaly but now i do.
Upon i step into the hall, i feel wholelly new and refreshed... n teared quite a bit during the whorship... Took the step out to the alter call with faith, i experienced something i had nvr have before.. cried... yet i felt relieved later on...realli relieved...(n it lasts till now=)i have stopped feeling tt stressed now compare to earlier on and i actualli started to read bible more>.<) There were 3 ppl around us not feeling well and ppl went to pray for them n there is something unstable inside of me, i felt like crying again yet it settled as i focus on whorshipping and praying...it indeed feel new and gd...
i will continue to walk with Him.... n him.... =)

physics lecture!!!yeah,another long day is waiting for me... yet i know there is always people there for me...

cold

2006-07-28T05:17:00.000-07:00

did u say u were cold last night?
...

feeling rather down right now...n so sad u turned ur shoulder away from me in the morning...
guess its becos of tt,so i didnt feel rite e whole morning..

i was v tired yesterday n have no work done..

Its cold again today...

but all in all, i still treasure the afternoon time...it feels gd...
dont deny tt..

u have said something tt shocked me a lot n i was tearing inside..

i realised im v random speaking now..

"It may seem alot, yet i don sense any achievement... jus feel down... haiz... back to square one... after you climb a mountain, after u reach its peak, there is no other way to go, except to go down.... i am rolling down... and there are bumps along the road... seems like i am all alone..."

maybe im not gd at all bah..
or maybe all kinds of relationship is like this..
are they?
im losing confidence,yet i noe there is God with me....
"i could sing of ur love forever..."

2006-07-24T06:21:00.000-07:00

There r certainly those times when u obviously noe this person is lying by his tone and expression,yet there r nothing u could do. Forcing the truth to reveal will only hurt both of you. Yet human beings like myself will want to hear the fact even though i knew it in my heart.

The feeling of helplessness was engulfing me...
n so does the feeling of loneliness and sadness now...

Maybe there r realli times when everyone need a bit of quietness and peace, to pack ourselves and go on again...

Sometimes we will refuse to do what is gd for us even though we know its gd...
tts y demons can success even though they onli have the weapon named lying...
our faith will be tested and can be tested..

It feels great to lie on that broad shoulder just after exercise, in an air-conditioned place where the sunshine spread all over me...
i have the feeling tt i own the World..
my World or should i say our World..
with He as the centre..

"I am a child of God
No i won't deny it
No i won't deny it"

"I could sing of your love forever..."

nowadays heart so weak...
Will i stand the repeating "heart attack"?
haha...

random thought:donno abt guys...but i pity girls...or should i say women?

crying...

2006-07-19T07:06:00.000-07:00

Had been through many things these few days...
Life is harder than what we can expect, but yet there r always solutions.
=)
i have been striking a balance between him n her...n im on my way there...
but what abt another person who faces similiar problem wif me but much more difficult to handle...
lay upon God's power and let things go according to His'plan...

Got back most of my block tests result le...
2S....1B....n 1U(can imagine it will be a U)...
hmmm...though i should be used to it,abt failing my english paper bah,yet i cant stop feeling sad cos all e other papers r also so badly done when there r so many ppl scoring tt well...so its not impossible to be done...
tried to stop tears from coming out...i noe i can do it v well de..
but when looking at u, e soft side of me will be exposed....its hard...
hard to control myself from tearing...

endured for a long time until i dont feel like crying but shouting instead...
hmmm...well,consider tt its v not shu nv like....muhahaha,so i didnt...

crying out seems to make me feel better le..
thanks for being there for me even though i was not tt gd to u just now...
i feel v sad cant make u happy but be so bad to u...
>.<
trust me,realli felt bad abt it...
>.<

lets work hard for promo. bah!=p
im fine now le...=)

comfort zone................dangerous zone

2006-07-15T07:22:00.000-07:00

Block test has ended and one phrase of my JC life has completed...
i cant say how well i have done in this first phrase,but it makes me experience lots of thing...the class bonding,friends,walk in God's path and u....
n guess what?i prayed last Sun.morning before began studying...n i think i have realli gone into the study state,at least much better than e previous half a year...
i actualli feel quite happy or maybe satisfied when i study cos i noe it may be a slow process but im doing them one by one,n they ll be completed by me one day...
n more importantly,i noe u r in e studying state too...
we r going to work together,arent we?

im drawning more n more...
n u have became my comfort zone,what ll i become if one day i need to leave u?i donno...but we cant predict e future,yet anything happen is for a purpose,we have to believe in it...

i was feeling quite sad bah...
hmmm...i donno y every ppl ll assume tt someone like another person ll tend be reluctant to spend time wif their frenz...it may be true to some extend,but we must understand tt girls n boys r different,one(boy) cant fulfill e thing we find in another(girl)....
i dont want to miss u in my life too...i was thinking of u..n feeling quite down...i certainly donno what ll happen...yet,i want this friendship to maintain...
i guess u may not c this entry bah...

God has plan for me isnt it?so i ll just lean upon e holy spirit and walk in faith...

i dont want to miss a thing...

2006-07-09T01:12:00.000-07:00

Have taken a break from blogging...
n i certainly feel e urge to say things out now..
went to service yesterday.
great preaching,great msg...

7/7/06
its an afternoon,which i miss a lot...
it seems to be a normal day but its meaningful...

time nvr seem to be wasted when u r wif ur closest ppl,isnt it?ur frenz,family and most importantly u..

today is Sunday,i went to JP to buy books and saw quite a lots of ppl bought things from NTUC and coming out...
it feels great...how i wish i can spend sunday morning cooking some nice foods for ppl i love...

"The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved,loved for ourselves,or rather loved in spite of ourselves."
-Victor Hugo

feeling sad when heard ur sad voice...i didnt noe what to do...
i was down...
but i want to make u happy...
it always feel so nervous and regret when u c someone u love angry wif u n more they sad becos of u...be it my mom or u...
just realised, love has soiled in my heart..and e root is getting deeper...

"let your love be like the misty rains,coming softly,but flooding the river."
-Malagasy Proverb

"Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love."
-Albert Einstein
"who,being loved,is poor?"
-Oscar Wilde

i dont want to miss anything tt happened in ur life,be it e past or e future...

God 's plan

2006-07-03T07:13:00.000-07:00

God has a plan for every one of us,n i certainly trust Him n his plan for me...
what i ll do is to treasure everything He has set for me n do e best out of me...
everything,including u...
u r e one who introduce(maybe unconciously,yet i should praise e development of blog) n lead me to e walk wif Him and wif u...
i value these relationships...n i want to enter ur life...i want to noe more...

i was once an introvert...
but through experience and growing,i learnt its okie to be an introvert yet sometimes we should try to speak up for it ll let ppl noe how we feel instead of assuming they know...

First relationship is always e hardest,which u gave e most n recieved e most(regrets,hurt,sadness and happiness of course)...
everyone ll have e first time,n after tt,we become mature n noe certain things ll hurt ppl..so we ll give e right things but not all things n recieved mostly happiness but not all things again...

in whatever means, i want to give u e best memory of ur first contact wif relationship wif human beings...
relationship wif God is different cos God knows everything and He does not have shortcomes,which human beings do have...tts what makes relationship wif God so great...
i dont want u to feel hurt but remember e joy life can give u...

sometimes i may sound harsh...
but just want to say i want u to get e best out of u,for ur own goods...
i ll watch over e limit...=)

ya...i believe in God's plan for me...n He lets me found u out of e crowd and fulfilled my wish...
what do u think?
i ll walk....to whr?i donno...but there is a purpose...

goal dream

2006-07-02T07:21:00.000-07:00

dream?
hmmm....there is a chinese character in my name equivalent to dream...."meng"....
maybe is because of the name,i dreamt a lot when i was young,i could still remember some of e dreams i had in my childhood...

well...in e reality,i like to dream but i dont dare to dream most of e times..

dream is different from goal...
goal is more realistic...be it far goal or near goal....actualli near goal builds up far goal,isnt it?

anniversary of wedding vs end of block test

2006-06-30T08:49:00.000-07:00

What day is today?
guess what?today is my parent's anniversary of marriage!o.O....noe it for e first time,am i a bit....?hmmmm...better dont say abt myself...
well..this month s pocket money is....=p......lol.....a bit more than usual?hmmm...
beside tt,today also marks e end of my agony----block test!!!!!!!!!!
i was so happy n relaxed this afternoon after my CLL paper...n i wrote a continous 3 hrs in a fast mode n i think i didnt write as much as some ppl like xs n her classmate ....well,guess tt s e difference between art students n science students.for example,for one 20marks qn,xs n her classmate wrote 3 pages while me n xl onli wrote around 1 page-.-
my hand was realli aching at e end of e paper,think u can imagine....T.T...
n when i was thinking abt how to ans some of e qn.s,i raised up my head n saw zhanglaoshi smiling in a way makes me feel he feel v shuang looking at so many students writing so fast n working so hard for CLL paper!T.T....n i saw yelaoshi doing tt later on too!T.T....n e starting of e paper is also v ironic....>.<....zhanglaoshi n yulaoshi was discussing among themselves tt can start at 1....but they didnt announce it and assumed we noe!so in e end we started asking e teacher whether we can start 3 min past 1...n he said,"ya....started le."....well...no comment.....but still qite cute....haha
hmmm..then i n xs went to eat Marche...
ate rosti wif sausage and lamb shrank wif whipped potato....T.T....we already feel full after a few bites...haha...so we were basically sitting there observing ppl(so werid rite?lol)n waiting for each other to battle wif e food....in e end xs did excelletly in fighting wif e potato while me fighting wif lamb...hehe...but still left some potato n sausage untouched....
think ll not go there for a long time le...cos feel v sickening now....lol...n due to e voucher we have,we onli paid $2.70....o.o.....looks v funny.....but,marche v cheap hor?muhahahaha.....
e way we found it at suntec was v funny....shall not elaborate bah cos my hand aching still!>.<
then went to mango to buy tee...hehe....
came out find we lost our direction,haiz,this s e bad thing abt two directionless ppl walking together....
hmmm...but we managed to see a shuttle bus just on time it came...quite lucky...hehe...so we still ended up in cityhall mrt station...
quite tired now...
well...let me summarize e block test...
overall i dont feel v gd...especially for maths n phy bah...just feel they r e worst i did...
i put e bear s skirt on her head as hat,v style leh!hehe....creative thinking is necessary...
hmmm...tml service...
feel like it has been a long time since i last went...so quite longing for it bah...
tired now...sleepy now...thinking now...
of who?
hmmm...make a guess....haha
gd nitez!=)

its lame i noe...-.-

2006-06-23T07:43:00.000-07:00

The sunset was long gone
darkness drawn in
i lifted my eyes
no stars or moon is in view
i can't find u
trembled n lost
im all alone
whr can i go?
all directions of blank darkness
whr should i go?
i cant feel ur presence
im all lone

shone upon me
u r back...

love my long hair...>.<

2006-06-22T22:04:00.000-07:00

i was "patrol" my drawer just now when i saw quite a few things tt stir up my interests...haha
"Your ability I cannot dispute
Your success you hence can build
A superthy organized mind you possess
BUt sometimes a blur-blur Mengjie, I must confess
You are sometimes also quite thick-skinned & squeal quite a bit
But you remains forever my apple-faced,pineapple head."
haha....i thought mdm.ang was from science stream?>..<....
sometimes what determine whether we like a certain subject is e teacher teaching....
as far as noe,ppl in my class all likes chem but not phy...
n xs told me her class ppl all like phy instead of chem....n most of them do not take chem now...
whats e cause?haha...teachers...yeah....lol....

e second thing tt arouse my interest is 1 cd lh has given me as present on my birthday....
i didnt realise its v special at tt time but now when i re-look at it...its so unique and touching...T.T....

e last is also a cd...but this s a photo album....suddenly realised i have so many cds contains photos...haha

my left eye is v nanshou>.<
T.T...
T.T
who can help me?T.T

i love my hair!oh my=x....lol.....
but i prefer last time de v long hair....though someone disagree...>.<....

r u ready for a long journey?

2006-06-18T22:22:00.000-07:00

i have been reading my diary since yesterday...
i read e first half of it last night and e second half today...it shows a clear difference in thinking n feeling abt everyday's life....

"let bygones be bygones!i dont' like to see people to be sad.WOrse is that they pretend like nothing has happened and pretend to be truely happy."

this forwarded msg inside has reminded me lots of misery memory....i just hate to be lied by e others...n whats ur right to ask me those things now?haiz....emotions r taking control of me....

hmmm...after reading it,i have a fresher mind...

i have learnt lots of thing through experiencing things...this is growing process...
n i believe every human being is given equal amount of happiness and challenges in life....but what makes ppl different is e way they take things....some ppl try to search for happiness and treasure it....they ll use these happiness to balance e sadness and even outnumber them...their life is brightened...
well...sometimes when im upset,i ll tend to have negative mind and tend to think things in a bad way.While i have learnt tt different mind ll make e same things feel differently,so i tried to set my mind back to a positive way whenever im upset...hope i could master tt in e near future=)

well...to think abt it,after such a long time,i have not quarrelled severly wif u even for once...this s great.some may say tt quarrelling makes ppl closer...but not all e times,isnt it?there r so many more important things in life tt worth our attention and energy...n we ll stay as support for each other,wont we?
to think abt it,i have not tt much strong emotions towards things nowadays...but isnt it a sign of maturity?n this is more precious bah...e v true feeling does not need to be strong but pure...thinking of u in any time,staying wif u without much words is comfortable as well...

love is something imaginery...all love ll decolorised after times,when tt time comes,we ll wonder have we ever had love towards this person before....so e more important and hence precious thing is we feel happy and comfortable wif this person s presence...tts when e time u can realise u two has actualli become one person literally,u understand this person so much and u r so used to his presence tt u cant be separated....

one ll tend to grow more mature when he or she experienced more things...im no longer a girl who ll think i ll be wif this person forever for sure....but i do hope so....but everything depends on how we treat it....
its going to be a long journey,r u ready?

cip+service=going to sleep soon....

2006-06-17T08:40:00.000-07:00

"U r out almost every day and u r onlining all e time i saw u at home...c how s ur coming block test..."......
haiz....i dont understand y...but its always more stressed when my mom said it instead of i noe it myself...
y do we always live for what e others feel?ans:this is life.... response:sad+stress=miserable....

im wondering y ppl r so fake somtimes...u can try to act v gd to this person until v real even though u dont feel like doing so...o.Ohmmmm....life again....haha

kk....shall talk abt today's adventure...

17th June 2006...
01:00 fell asleep
zzzzzzzzzzzz.........................
06:15 woke up
06:25 got up
07:30 got out of room
08:15 reached Raffles mrt station(someone said i ll be late in a v sure tone-.-........though all e others were already there waiting for me but i was not tt late>.<)
08:30 ate mcmuffin and milo provided by ABN bank...haha....i went to do cip there today....its quite nice lah...we stayed at those kind of conference/meeting room wif air con and v nice setting....basically e enviornment is v gd...then we just stayed inside e room waiting for 4 grps of youngsters came(each grp consist of around 10 ppl)...what we did is to just show them how to write their name n all those craps lah...hehe..even i can guide,so u could c its quite crap lah....hmmm...we got 5 hrs cip record though we did less than tt....n what we got for lunch is cool....pizza hut....2 large pepsi for 6 of us....3 large pizza...3 family platter and 3 garlic breads...o.O....of course we didnt finish all cos tts too much....o.O....haha....we still did t-shirt decoration and beads making...then e token of appreaciation we recieved is also v nice n useful....lol..

15:00 went to service....
today s service is Father's day special...
its great...
we had worship followed by spelling bee re-match...one of e guy is quite chubby....v cute!!!!!!!!cutie....
then there was this drama show....v funny...
plus....today s preaching was v meaningful....i was tearing for most of e time...n realli approaching crying for a few times...but i controlled..yet there was still one time tear rolled down my cheeks....T.T
then went to eat KFC after service....3 meals of fastfood in a day....Mc...pizza hut....KFC...T.T...wanna cry le...

im feeling sleepy....>.<
shall stop here....
gd nitez=)u r already sleeping le....sweet dream to u!

taken from somewhr...

2006-06-13T07:14:00.000-07:00

God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things which should be changed and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.　　~Reinhold Niebuhr

date wif my wife wif me waiting for her again....

2006-06-13T05:48:00.000-07:00

i have just realised tt my sentence constructing skill is a bit stagnant nowadays...T.T...sad...sobbing...my gp....T.T....
anw,went out wif my wife yesterday after a long long time...so felt realli great..
tts y i wear until v mature...muhahahaha...she said de....then she wore e shirt we bought together last time...i have yet to wear it cos almost half of e back is exposed although e shirt looks nice lah...hehe...
we shopped a long time for e others....
meant to eat mashee(how to spell?T.T) de...but its down for rennovation....T.T.....so ended up eating KFC cos she was v hungry already...lots of fat consumed!!!!!!>.<....
full and satisfied,we strolled along e orchard road and finally its time for shopping for ourselves!haha...but actualli we didnt feel like buying anything at first de cos long time didnt buy things..lol
but still things attracted our attention...i bought one two quarter(is there any such phrase?haha)pant and she bought one belt...lol...
on e mrt back,xs was asking me whether i feel heartpain...
hmmm...nope bah...i ll feel heartpain if i bought tt for myself..haha

okie...tt sums up my day...
i was so tired before i slept n i woke up at 7 plus this morning!>.<
lol...
feel v stressed now...cos hasnt realli do my revision...yet this week is full planned except tml when i can revise...haiz....

7 basic needs of every soul...

2006-06-10T20:05:00.000-07:00

i slept before 12 last night...
haha...then woke up at 9 today...but how come i have headache after breakfast?
so weird...T.T
"weird" this word remind me of something...-.-.....
girls r not weird at all..>.<

yesterday learnt several things...

SOUL defines PERSONALITY
every soul has 7 basic needs...
-spirituality
-love
-self-esteem
-knowledge
-security
-aesthetic
-freedom

"love is something every soul needs,there is nothing ashamed abt searching for love.."

this sentence struck me...because it remind me of what i have written in e e-mail at tt time...
whr did i get this mind concept from?
after 1 cgm bah....whr i realli feel refreshed and happy,i donno y at tt time but now i understand its because of God's presence...
He has showed me e way...
believing GOd has plan for us is e right choice to made.....=)

we ll walk a long way...

2006-06-09T07:17:00.000-07:00

y must he be so fierce?
haiz....my mood was being spoiled...
but yet i didnt let my emotion surface...is tt call e sign of grown up?
i dont wanna grow up!
n i dont like lots of adult...maybe its e environment tt makes them become in certain way bah...

nvrm...drop this bah...

recieved a msg in e afternoon which makes my jaw drop...o.O....
yet it makes me =)....

God has realli answered my call and blessed us....

fate is between us......I was approaching exhausted state at LEP camp and u changed to a different self in e nick of time....im recharged once more...

but there is some feeling in me now,which i cant explain....
......

dance wif joy...

2006-06-07T09:17:00.000-07:00

Heart pounding is a magical melody...
its powerful,steady and fast
yet i felt soothing,comforting and peaceful when hearing it and feeling it...

Small gal sat in front of her desk,empty minded...

e world stopped its motion for she want this moment to stay...
However,nothing can disrupt e functioning to e nature so she captured it in her heart...
locked it and nvr let it go...

she was wondering,how to identify love?
Love...
is when u feel this person is e nicest looking one among all e others...
is when u feel v close to this person,u trust him a lot and u accept all his shortcomings..
is when u identify and appreaciate his talents...
is when u praise abt little things he did to e others and u feel happy doing tt...
is when u simply want tt person...
is when u r willing to give him freedom...
is when u adore tt person and feel sad on his behalf and willing to do sacrifice..
is when u want a hand hold,a hug or a kiss...

looking out through e window,she cant find any star or moon but she already has her star and moon wif her...

e feeling she has nvr felt is surrounding her...
its so different...
and she realised she s grown up....

nose de pimple bleeding again...T.T
n im eating my dinner...o.O...at this hour...lol
going to sleep soon...tml meet my wife!=p

im blessed...=P

2006-06-06T00:53:00.000-07:00

I fear it's very wrong of me
And yet i must admit
I want one special friend
who indisputably
like me much more than all the rest
Who's always on my side
Who never cares what others say
who lets me come and hide
within his shadow in his house
it doesn't matter where
who lets me simply be myself
who's always always there

sometimes i ll be wondering y other gals have so many ppl wooing them...well...with e mind of a girl,i ll be a bit jealous over tt n also feel unfair...

but i have came to realise tt not all e girls r as blessed as me bah...
what more can i ask for when i always own e love of e peolpe i love...
its a blessing itself...
n i take appreaciation for tt..i dont cheat others' feeling...n im devouted to e person i love..

girls,we need someone we love,who loves us also...
love s a nature n relationship is a study...
as time passes,u will learn n grow..
u ll understand certain words n actions ll hurt e other side..so u tried to change.
wif changes,u become a better person..
n not onli inside,we change our outlook as well..
we ll become more attentive to our outlook cos we want 2 present e best..
its nothing wrong wif tt as long as we didnt hide our true self inside,isnt it?
n people in e World look at out outlook instead of our inner self cos we r all human beings...people who dress well ll have more chances in getting e job in an interview,people who dress well ll leave better impression to e others...this s an undeniable fact...so whatwrong wif changing ur outlook?haha..so girls..there s nothing wrong but more benefits so add more cofnidence to urself bah!

e blessed girl need to mug...though she doesnt want...
but try bah...>.<

life

2006-06-03T23:34:00.000-07:00

just wondering y s there so many things in life which ll make ur emotion turns,either to bad or gd...
this is life...
how to get unaffected?or simply try to hide ur emotion?
hmmm...life life life....

random

2006-06-03T11:02:00.000-07:00

its another new day...went to emerge...talentime n conference..
tts great..
especially i teared a bit at one moment during e worship...

no one r perfectly nice gal or guy...
we r all nice in one way or another...
so just try to change those areas u r not nice at...

i was feeling a bit discouraged earlier on n i felt my feelings r not as strong as last time,its fading away..
but something proved me wrong last night...

i love u, Lord...
i love u, small boy...

LEP camp...

2006-06-01T08:13:00.000-07:00

yoh!im finally back from LEP camp....
hmmm..shall do a rough intro. of this camp....
Aim: raise future pig of high quality,with extra ordinary patient and endurance,plus able to find joy out of no where.
Mission:breakfast,talk,tea break,talk,lunch,talk,tea break,talk,dinner,talk,sleep.

Well...this camp has held v successfully in achieving its aims!

i have learnt how to sleep in different kinds of positions n ways during talks from lots of ppl...o.O
tts simple amazing...
n our life s just v tui2fei4....-.-......play bridge at night n sleep during talks in e day time...

im eating instant noodle now....T.T....it suddenly remind me of e little gal gathering on e first 2 night...especially e second night when me,xs,fj,yt,xj n yy, e 6 of us gathered at one room eating cup noodle,lunchon meat,egg,apple n porridge.we started to have little gal chat after tt until 2 am plus...we might stayed up longer if its not tt some ppl came...-.-

hmmm...i have found out abt a lot of things bah...which r said by all e 5 of them...at different timing n e amazing thing is tt they didnt noe e others have said it..
maybe these things r in my sub conscious all e time,its just tt i did not want to acknowledge them...
xs said my endurance s patience s super...well....i dont deny....since s aim of e camp is to develop patience...(haha...seems like no link but nvrm)

then went for night walk on e 3rd night..T.T....so tired...

n alst night we have stage show by different grps...i did e job of narrator in my grp...cos i was late for almost 2 hrs for e discussion...>.<...hehe..me,xs n fj were chatting at sudent lounge...o.o.....lol

hmmm...one said my voice s dia...T.T...my voice was mature k?
one said my voice s sweet n clear....=p....thanks ,my instructor...
n one said its scary to hear my voice in an enlarged version...-.-

jj s mass dance s cute in a crazy way n our school s cute in a chun2pu3 way....lol...
think all 4 jc s dance v cute....lol...

this morning during e 2 hr talk,i was sleeping for e first45 min....stoneing for e next 20 min...n went wif xs to toilet plus eating for e next 30min...n during our eating time,saw wang lao shi...T.T.....

went to do some amazing thing wif xs this afternoon...hahahaha....

nvrm...

just suddenly feel tt its not right to go for cip with a wrong attitude bah...
hmmm below s a private conver. (they spoke too loud..-.-)i have heard during e camp.
"...we r short of ppl to go for cip,u can come?....."
"no...i dont want.i dont like to do flagday..."
well...i also dont like to do flag day...=p
haha...tts y i went for cip like painting for autism school...

though i have to contribute time n money, God did award me spiritually...=)...i was feeling happy...

feeling tired le...though i seem to have lots of thing in mind...haha...
shall stop here today...
...

enjoyment in life

2006-05-28T06:13:00.000-07:00

Didnt think of blogging today de....
but saw something in someone's blog,so feel like saying out my feeling...
i think men shouldnet be too self-centered by thinking onli I can feel emotions cos others keep on scolding me,so they dont feel things....but its not true...our life is abt relation wif ppl...try to think what r e things u can do if it not involve others?i mean...either u do wif others or u do tt for a purpose,which involves other human beings(society,family,friend)....well....i cant find such things...if onli u exist in this world,i guess u ll die of boredom v soon cos there r nothing u can do...not even things u can play with(computer,hp,mp3)cos they r all made by ppl....

Enjoy dealing wif loneliness is something we have to learn in life....=)
Enjoy dealing wif stresses is something tt lead to success....=p
Enjoy dealing wif sadness is something tt makes u strong...=x
Enjoy dealing wif happiness is something tt makes life beautiful....=)

MOral of e story....our life is filled wif things we should enjoy....=)

ya...i ll enjoy e writing camp..though i have like 8 essays i need to write....
wow....enjoy tt! ideas plz pop out!>.<

body aching>.<

2006-05-27T07:03:00.000-07:00

Sabbaticl has ended..
i have asked quite a few ppl abt their module,which includes archery,bowling and ice-skate...they all said its fun...but then later on added "its quite sein sometimes".....
hmmm....well...seems like xs n i have chose e right courses!(cake making and indian cooking ,salsa)o.O....haha...i was thinking abt all e funny things happened in salsa class on mrt cos i was too bored,n i actualli laughed....i tried to control myself for it ll realli looks stupid n crazy to laugh alone,isnt it?lol...
this 1 week has been interesting....yet my body is aching all over!T.T....especially e lower portion of the right leg...i could feel e muscle moving inside n its painful!n i realli gain muscle on my arms.....o.o.......
though im under such condition,i still went to art cip today even though i noe xs s not going....surprisingly tt i didnt struggle emotionally for whether to go or not but i just went...i feel gd when doing tt art cip...n i sang "i could sing of ur love forever." repeatly as i was alone painting for all of us spreaded in e school doing touch up..o.o...haha...
hmmm...i painted until forget to look at e time, so i was nearly late for service....NEARLY>.<...hehe...well...feel v blessed by today s service....both e worship n preaching...n i like pastor tan preach...>.<.....is it because e thing he shared s not tt deep so i can understand?....>.<....
v tired now le.....next mon. s LEP camp....4 days 3 night.....T.T....i hope my bodyache could be "vanished" by next mon.
.....................................................
gd nitez....so tired....

salsa...o.o

2006-05-26T09:09:00.000-07:00

another day has passed!yeah....
its a wonderful day started by me waiting again at e boon lay mrt station(lucky this time round s 15 min instead of 30min...>.<....)n then xs came wif her parents...o.O..... well...same as yesterday we dance from 9 30 to 5pm..bascially s one whole day as well....lol...my white socks has black bottom...wow.....so magical....o.O... haha....but i prefer today s ....as yesterday's s too awarkward...n uncomfortable....while today's s more active....lol... rock n roll...>.<
have a lots of extreme acts but wont be involved in e presentation cos they r dangerous...o.O...like e one spinning....o.O.....scary....lol....n it also needs time to recover cos e head s too dizzy...talking abt e spinning suddenly remind me of what xs n her partner did...lol...she looks like "shu dai xiong"....kola is it?.....i can still laugh while reflashing e picture in my mind....
did a lot of stupid thing today...T.T...but think its ok for a beginner like me who has nvr ever danced before......haha...one of e partner s not strong enough so we fell down together....T.T...another one s cos he was stoneing so i fell...T.T....lucky not e one doing e spinning or else i ll not be here blogging le....T.T....

today has ended by a cgm!long time nvr go le...
lol....
nice feeling....=)

life journey...

2006-05-25T04:59:00.000-07:00

hmm...this week has been eventful...
i have Indian cooking and cake making on mon n tue..
lucky e cake making s not indian cake like what liupu has "predicted"....>.<
hehe...
i was v tired in e morning as i slept too much e day before..n we regretted of joining at first as its not like what we have expected...we dont get a stove ourself...T.T
but it turned out to be quite fun n i did make a dough though it sticks all over my palm n i even "threw" a dough into a roti prata!O.O...tts surprising rite?haha
but e second day me,xs n yt all become stoneing in e afternoon...n we three together wif ys went to stone at mcdonald during lunch time...in e end we played truth n dare....(actually we just played truth...cos we were in a stoneing stage!>.<...muhahaha)i wonder y HCI ppl all play truth n dare...O.O...a tradition?
wel...overall remark....i have been eating a lot that 2 days....basically s continual eating....
tts y i had diarhorreal..T.T
n e lastday of e course,me n xs took 154 back..we actualli took from e one bus interchange to e other bus interchange!o.o....well....e bus did pass HCI...but we woke up to find np instead...missed our school...depressed for a moment...n my head fell on her shouder again!T.T....suppose to be wife s head on husband de mah....T.T
we discovered a lots of ulu places these few days..
haha...

hmmm...tts basically e first 2 days of e week...for Wed...we have had a fun talk in e morning though we ecpected it to be boring...for e second talk.it was realli boring...-.-...n both i n xs mis-thought pilosophy as psychology!o.O...
n xs asked her classmate a low-intelligent qn,which only revealed our stupidness......T.T...>.<
followed by tt was phy make up...which should be onli 1 1/2hr but it lasted for 2 hrs!i felt so cheated so i refused to listen after 1 1/2hrs....>.straight after tt was art club election..
xs asked me to run for vp...then next time can have more fun in art club...haha...
in e end e election turned out to be v firece n scary....xs said she can feel e atmosphere of pressures and some ppl r v scary....T.T....well.she s e onli j1 not running..haha....mdm for nc le...salute to u...puei.....
i dont mind abt e election actualli...can c from i didnt even think abt e speech until i was sitting down there...O.o...while e others prepared....o.O......well...true in heart i dont mind getting or not getting e post de...but i dont want too scary ppl get e post...or art club not fun liao...
getting back to e point...what realli piss me off s how one of e senior did....
i cant realli say any exact thing she did but from every small things,i just feel v piss off wif her...
she just give me n xs e impression tt she always talk wif guys...well..i mean...its ok if u just like to talk to guys,its not our business anyway...but u dont have to act so obvious rite?especially u ignored e girls....she has nvr talked to me n xs...always ignored us...its v obvious when u talked to all e others..who r guys....-.-
n what realli piss me off s tt she shoot me attacking qn during qn n ans section.n her stare s so fierce while she looked so kind when asking e others...well...she didnt asked many others anyway...-.-...but i just mean what did i do wrong tt makes her to "hate" me?
argh...tts realli something tt made me so piss off tt day lah....

today had salsa....o.O>.<.....i waited xs for 30 min(according to her) at mrt station
so withou doubt we were late
n whats more s tt we got to e wrong place!T>T
lucky met a guy going also.hah...so we just followed him...
by e time we reached, they started already...but we managed to catch up wif it...
tt trainee was talking a lot abt e"dear" schoolmate songjun...they have has a gd time..haha...
lucky im not in run 1 ...or dancing wif him ll be so...o.O(as we rotate partner...)..n i ll realli laughed by claire for she wa there for run 1.....-.-....
did a lot of dance....we were basically dancing from 9am to 4 pm wif 1 1hr break n two 15min breaks altogether...
my legs r going to crack liao...T.T....
n they said we need to do a presentation in term3....T.T...i dont want...
salsa s fun lah...but its not tt fun when u dance wif strangers.....T.T....its just strange....

was feeling like what i ll feel if i cant find u in a crowd....feel like have u by my side after e course...to get me soothed...but cant...
haiz...now feeling better le..

hmmm....so e 8 conditions for a partner in dream r...
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
6)
7)
8)
everthing tt e person i like is.....
for when u have e spark n u like tt person...everything abt tt person ll become something attrative to u...=)
does tt ans ?

dont be sad....for i ll walk wif u on e life journey...

untitled.

2006-05-22T08:24:00.000-07:00

"最近蛮向往小情侣间的单纯快乐,无忧无虑...虽然在这乱世是不可能找得到
因为现在的女生都那么聪明,知道很多东西 ><"
from xiaoming s blog again...o.O...
this s part of wad me,xs n yanting ware talking abt in e afternoon...>.<

SwEet Dream..

2006-05-22T07:02:00.000-07:00

TOday s e first day of sabbatical n my run 1 s cake making n indian cooking!muhahaha...
well...we were feeling a bit regretted in e morning when we realised we wont get a stove,an oven and a place for everyone of us...
hmm...but in e end it turned out to be quite fun,especially e part whr we were "rolling" and "torturing" the dough!lol..it all stick on my palm..T.T....haha...but v shiok...
then i made roti prata!!!!!!!!!!surprising?o.O
hehe...n its even more surprisingly tt i did quite ok wif the throughing and slapping against e table...lol...

BUT....

like everything s imperfect...a guy in e class makes me feel piss off.....
show not talk abt him...or spoiled my mood...tml just take him as transparent bah...lol...i wont c him again!(for he s so insignificant...-.-....)

AND...
after tt...i n xs went to cine. to watch poseidon!!!!!!!yeah!finalli...haha
we were suppose to alight at somerset de but in e end we ended up alighting at newton together wif yanting,who s going back to school...n e cause of all these r we were too engaged in talking wif yanting and also cos we 2 r lack of direction n timing n sense!T.T.......many things have shown tt so i wont try to deny it le....-.-

THEN....
we didnt catch up wif e 4 30 de ....T.Tbut bought e 6 20 de...

YET...
its a nice movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so scary and heart shocking...
thanks to our decision made....we left our supposed seats n went to the most front...just to feel e effect!hehe
n we realli did...
well..its still a nice show...

feeling v sleepy now but need to wait for my hair to dry...
T.T
Hope u r in a sweet dream now...=)

悄悄话

2006-05-21T03:14:00.000-07:00

Be a man love by women...

一：男人千万要记住，自家女人绝对不要拿来和别的女人比较。
　　不要老说别人的老婆如何如何好，别数落她不漂亮，她能嫁给你那是你的福气，你还这么说，真是很不应该。对大多数女人来说，听到自己最爱的人说她的一句好那是比所有人说她的好加起来还受用。何况，爱她还忍心伤害她吗？
　　二：不可以三天两头的冷落她。
　　女人都是敏感多疑的，她会把很多事情往消极的方向想。其实出门前的一个蜻蜓点水的吻、回家推开门时的一个拥抱都会让你的女人以后想起来感动万分，这些对于男人一点都不难做到，不是吗？记得在你难过时告诉她让两人一起分担，在她难过时要牵着她的手把手心的温度传给她。
　　三：不要摆脸色给你的女人看，一个对女人使脾气的男人是很可恶的。
　　你在生意场光鲜整洁，她在家中忙里忙外的，繁忙的家务已经让她有了一肚子火了，你应该要知道就是因为她在你背后所做的这一切才能让你无后顾之忧。试想一男人下班后回家说：老婆，你忙了一天，辛苦了！女人笑笑说：没什么的，你才辛苦呢！那是多么和谐的一幅画。
　　四：男人走到一起是比工作比职位，女人走到一起是比男人比孩子。
　　所以在她的女友面前一定得表现出你对她的宠爱和疼惜，让她觉得自己是一个公主，拥有了会让所有女人嫉妒的那份完整的爱。如果她是一个明理的女人，她肯定也会在你的哥们面前给足你面子，让你在朋友面前做个顶天立地的大男人。
　　五：和男人喜欢看美女一样，女人也喜欢看帅哥。
　　你可以吃醋可以生气，可是一个真爱你的女人其实看到帅哥的时候的心境比男人看到美女时的心境更加单纯，她只是看到一些美好的东西有些感叹而已，就像是看到一幅美的图画一样，不像男人那样会有更多的幻想。
　　六：老婆是娶来疼的，有修养的男人是绝对不会打老婆的。
　　如果真爱她那就一定要尊重她，不能随便动手。如果你已经不爱她了，那么你就摸摸自己的良心：我还能让她幸福吗？如果答案是否定的，那就放她走吧，让她找个真正能对她好的人。让自己别再错下去也让她自由吧！
　　七：女人喜欢男人的大男子主义，这样让她们觉得很安全。
　　可女人更抵挡不了男人的温柔，如果说女人的温柔是对付男人的利器，那么男人不经意的温柔对于女人绝对是可以说是核武器。但是女人也有自己天性那就是天生的母性情结，她偶尔会把你当做自己的孩子一样处处宠爱着，但你要记住不要得寸进迟。
　　八：家庭永远是第一。
　　男人固然要对工作负责，却也要有职业道德，要从工作中得到乐趣，但不要做工作的奴隶，我们工作是为了更快乐地和家人在一起，享受生活很重要，记得不定时地和你们妻子和你的孩子一起享天伦之乐。
　　九：爱人的父母就是自己的父母，将心比心，爱屋及乌。
　　老吾老以及人之老，只要内心深处真正感到这就是我自己的父母，心理上对老人依恋亲密，老人会感受到这份真心的。何况，人老了很象孩子，只要象哄孩子般哄老人开心就好了。我们自己也有老的一天，要做好下辈的镜子，让他们知道怎么去尊敬老人。
　　十：两个人相处切记要坦诚、信任、宽容、理解。
　　不可事事隐瞒但也可在逼不得已时说些善意的谎言，个中尺度自己把握。多多站在对方的立场上去看一件事，想想她的处境，体会一下她的为难之处。记得：你是她最爱的人，你要理解她，支持她，在她犯错误时要宽容以对。

Girl in God's house

2006-05-21T01:59:00.000-07:00

"我被世界遗忘，
而你却一直守候我，引导我，爱我;
当我一无所有时，我知道还有你陪我到永远；
地球没有停止转动，而我为你随世界转动..."
----"Girl in God's house"

"I'm lost in a world of unknown...
but you are there to shelter me,guide me and your love filled my heart...
the world is set into motion
in your name..."
-----"Girl in God's house"

my heart shattered upon the cruel realities of the world revealed...
nothing could be done but accept.

Virtue is not innocence, but innocence tested..

Engage the World and emerge through the World..

Faith can be tested...

God,i lay upon u....

(all i have for lunch today is a cup of diluted milk tea...o.O....i ll lose weight if i can be like this frequently...haha...but cant lah...)
(it feels gd to make ppl happy...=) )

1:56:30

2006-05-20T08:56:00.000-07:00

just hang up phone...1:56:30....
o.O.....
such a long call.

feeling quite sleepy now...
have had a great time painting the flowers today..haha....was basically doing touch up...

Im already entering a holiday mood..>.<
i wanted to watch movie a lot tonight but failed to do tt...
T.T

.....

.....

the phone call conver. made me think a lot..
haiz...
i dont wanna elaborate much...but every kind of things tend to be contradicting....
donno how to say le....

。。

2006-05-19T06:29:00.000-07:00

from xiaoming s blog...
“男人都是多情的
为什么女人却是痴情的呢
女人都是痴情的
那为什么男人却是多情的呢

我不懂,因为我不是痴情的男人”
its quite true bah...
tts y most of e couples dont stay long for this difference...its not saying who s bad or who s gd...for its more of a nature bah...

relationship s abt growing...
s abt learning how to communicate,how to understand,how to live wif someone...
its a hard journey...fills wif happniess and sadness...
lol..all for one goal..

all gals should be happy...^.^

2006-05-19T05:19:00.000-07:00

"i suddenly feel all gals should be happyo.O"------someone...
haha...this sentence leave an impact on me just like what i did to xs by replying her
"....its e spark tt makes u like tt person and then u started to praise him or her....however, e spark is not a physical thing,so it cant be seen,unlike the praises....so ppl tend to think all e praises u have made abt tt person r the reasons u like tt person but they failed to c its e spark tt make all these happen...." when she said,"u seem to like tt person because of......"
so....like someone realli doesnt not need a reason..its tt feeling and then u started to think everything or maybe most of e things abt him or her r gd....

"gambatte"this s exactly what i n xs shouted tt day...lol...mean to be a surprise but failed..

i must say i have had a terrible week...
since e day after i stayed late to do GPP(lit. review) untill 12 plus...
but i was realli touched by HC and LB for helping me out in my dismay and frustration...
i was realli stressed tt day and have no idea of wad i should do after 2 hrs spending on e same thing...tts quite slow i guess....

i lied on my bed e next morning...unwilling to get up cos i cant open my eyes as i turned my alarm off...n by e time i struggled to open them..its alreay 5 40.....T.T....tts horrible...thinking i need to catch e bus at 6 15....T.Tn i havent iron my uni n pack my bed...n my breakfast..T.T.....
well..i fell asleep almost immediately after e usual chat wif xs on bus..but it was a super short chat as i fell asleep in e mid -way...n she nagged me for tt later on...-.-......
n i wanna raise my objection to her nag on"always feel something heavy on my shorlder".....
u also always do tt mah....its cos i dont wanna u lay onmy shoulder so i use my head to support ur head but obviously tt doesnt work cos u keep on move ur head away n it "bang"s down as usual....so this s a oscillation...(ah hem.....i learn phy de hor)
hahaha
talking abt phy...remind me of e terrible day i had yesterday...
was feeling extremely tired n sleepy in e morning without a reason...so i was not having a gd mood i guess....n to make everything worse...mr teo "find" me in such a crowd n depicted on my skirt....T.T
well..it short cos my grandma altered it when i was in school mah....n i think she made it until a bit higher than e length i told her...T.T....okay...my grandma s not tt old-fashion...so its not like wad xie lao shi has said abt grandma ll surely want to make e skirt as long as possible...
well..maybe one of e skirt s a bit short bah...but i cant do anything abt it...
then scolded by miss yan...
lucky e grp file didnt get scolded...n we were actually guessing tt she has given up hope on us...haha
n something abt xs makes me a bit upset....haiz...but its over....i dont mind now le..
so basically i passed e day in a "peaceful" state...i do things just for e pass of the day...not for living...
later on in e night as i got back home,i slept from 9 to 10 as i was realli tired....info wont get into my mind even if i read it....so yj called me up at 10 n he went to sleep...T.T....i have not learnt a single thing yet abt gravitational field....
my eyes hurt a lot n it feels "sour" and itchy...to make things worse,i cant understand e things i was reading...
felt damn stress n i cried...haiz...feeling v helpless n lonely.....e crying rate has shoot up by a lot this year due to stresses abt work....
then my mom came in....she has started to use e body scrub,shower foam and lotion,which i gave her as mother's day present...haha...she said it feels v luxurious to use both e body scrub n shower foam...but her skins realli feel v soft....hmmm...have yet to ask whether she has a gd sleep last night...for tt s e main purpose of using them...haha...
she noe i have cried judging from my red nose n eyes....

but they r paid off wif today s lecture test...well...its not a difficult one according to e teachers,especially its open-book test but i still feel motivated by it for e first test i got 9 over35....
although i didnt do well for e mock spa..i dont feel tt bad..haha...
so i think this shows i tend to do well when im sad n quiet...

yesterday on bus ,an ACS guy sat beside me when i was sleeping...well..normally no one ll sit beside me de for i donno y....(when xs cant catch tt bus)...n i smell e smell tt s always on ALvin...lol...e lavender softener used for washing cloths...i smelled it on weixin also...lol...wonder y i have nvr smelled it from girls...its quite a strong one so can smell it from a distance...quite a familiar smell...
haha....i think smell s realli a significant thing abt a person...
i have had lots of emotional disturb associated wif smell...

n now i like soap....^.^
there s gp essay tml...o.O....die.....
but i like e art cip ...haha

yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

2006-05-17T05:23:00.000-07:00

Life seems to get harsh again...haiz...i dont understand y...
i was so sleepy today i fell asleep immediately onboard e bus, morning n afternoon...
nvr ending....
darkness....dull....boredom....rountinary....
wads there to live for?

haiz....y am i feeling so down nowadays....
yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

tomato...apple...red?immisible...

2006-05-16T06:34:00.000-07:00

y am i feeling down for no reason?
haiz...
n to make things worse, i went to c ppl s blogs...
so many contains sad content...
its quite logical actually...

i have tried to talk to u sometimes but i dont get e reply most of the times...the feeling s just not rite...haiz..
whats more sad than not having communication?

tomato appears red to everyone, not just one person...

GPP>.<

2006-05-15T06:05:00.000-07:00

im suppose to be here doing gpp de...but in e end i was reading ppl s blogs...haiz...
so inefficient...
reading others' blogs can makes u think a lots..
my relationship wif God has juz started?....i can realli be touched sometimes.realli.....but sometimes i ll juz wonder am i realli relying on God...i still tend to believe more in myself...for wadever ll happen ll depend on how i do it...
haiz...so contradict...
there ll be art cip again tml...its a meaningful thing to do compare to cip lik flagday bah i think...
so even though i ll be going alone tml cos xs have phy....i ll still enjoy myself de..
lit review....haiz...im suppose to do tt...
n i still owe 4 reflections i think...T.T

jia you...

2006-05-11T05:07:00.000-07:00

this Sunday is MOther's day...i went to buy presents for my mom today ...
xs n i went to school in e morning to take attendance before we managed to escape from e school though there r npcc ppl on guards..haha...
we took 171 to go orchard...n we got off at half-way cos she said we took e wrong bus...but we realised 171 goes to orchard!T.T.....since when did she learn this from me??!!
well....
so in e end,i bought one body scrub,one body wash and one body lotion...all for "sleep well" de ...i cant think of any things...but i do noe my mom s v tired every night after work bah...spent quite some today....for even e paper bag cost me 3 dollars...
actualli i felt its quite a failure as daughter when u dont even noe wad r things ur mom want or need....
i wrapped them wif red papers and put into e paper bag...a v nice one wif red ribbon...
ll write her a letter n add a flower bah...
just hope she ll like...donno y...sometimes i just feel i owe my mom a lot....not in terms of money but other things...

Lay hwee msg me in e afternoon asking me to go out tml....but i cant cos i have 4 tests next week...T.T
i appreciate it nevertheless...i have nvr tried to contact them as much......haiz...i feel v sori to hannah also...i rejected her so many times...im a failure in being a friend also..
i should have known no matter how i wish they r well or how much i care for them,if i dont show tt or didnt make them known, its as well like non-exist....

i was reading frenzs' blogs...
haiz...
just feel sad n worried for them...for there r nothing i can do...
even though one of them said im one of e few tt makes him feel better but in this area, i think i can nvr be like david...for so many ppl feel he is able to be depend and ll tell him their problems...

how i wish they can have more happiness...

AIDs.....still exist?.......

2006-05-10T04:46:00.000-07:00

yesterday i went to do art cip at e autesim schol beside my sec school...lol....drew pictures on e walls wif the use of OHP and we painted e walls as well!haha...i got quite an amount of credits on my shoes!feeling proud for tt!=)
i and xs reached school at 12 40 while e time we were suppose to be at school was 12noon..muahhahaha...n in e end it proved tt we have made a intelligent choice...cos they were waiting for bus wif nothing to do during tt 40 mins!

its a gd way of passing times actualli...u ll feel e sense of satisfactory....except there s test e nect day...muhahaha....the mention of test remind me of e 45min of stoning time i had today!its realli stoning....first time experiencing i think...lol...

while we were painting e walls,i n xs talked craps....n in e mid way,we realised xiaoming was quite near to us!he s "eavesdropping" on us!T.T......cos e way we talk s always wif quantity without quality,so we dont remember wad we have said!T.T...
n even though we speaked v loud, but i still think xiaoming should not "eavsdrop" on us!he should cover his ear....>.<
i have lots of thing going through my mind just now on bus cos i cant sleep as my nose feel v uncomfortable in e air-con environment..T.T
i was thinking of wad my mom said last night....she called my hp cos home phone being used...then she said e way i talk to her s like no emotion de....
haiz...i also feel so....remind me of e passage i did in e morning on LEP....no matter how much love our family has for us....we should not be too self-orientated....we cant expect them to understand every emotions of us everytime...
hmmm...i was doing my maths last night....then my GC spoiled....was feeling v pissed at tt time..so ya...n most of e time, i m v bad -tempered at home....like wade passage said again, home tend to be e place whr we throw our emotions....
n i think although i achieved gd grades in o level,i didnt try v hard....tts also y i dont feel so excited after getting e results bah...cos its same like no effort,u wont feel e sense of satisfactory..
to think abt e life im going through now,i realli think i was leading a carefree life at o level time..u dont feel there r much things to revise abt when e school tried to spend a few months on revision...
haiz...i like JC life!but definitely not e work...

AIDs all onlining now...lol..surprisingly...
but dont have e feeling between them like last time le....
donno y...

suddenly dun feel like writing le though there r lots of things in my mind now..
(gaming-addict all e same bah..-.-)

i LOVE 69!^-^

2006-05-08T17:43:00.000-07:00

There r always times when u r hurt by others' words bah ..be it with means or without...
i think all we need to do is to not let it affects u...
maybe sometimes we should realli not care much abt others' things....
still remember the time in sec 2...
quite childish bah....cold war wif tt person for 1 whole year!O.O
haha....in e end become v gd in e second year

think i will nvr do tt kind of things le...for im more mature now!>.<

nothing to do now....i slept at 8 last night!n woe up at 7 in e morning
donno wanna mug leh
though tml has maths test
but i think im going to fail again
n week 9 s scary....even to think abt it..

cant remember wad i wanna say le after chatting wif ppl...n i finally understand wads e difference between dota, WoW and warcraft3...o.O.....

haha..

n i wanna go poly also...>.<....they can just anyhow chat wif ppl on msn on lectures...T.T...n search for game forum....-.-

but its sweet to hear so many frenz of mine are going on well in their life...
n i just discovered such a great characteristic of someone!o.O....didnt expect tt..

someone s hurrying me to study...T.T

okay...last thing to say....
I REALLI LOVE 69..^-^

Babi...>.<

2006-05-07T05:34:00.000-07:00

just finished talking to David....seems like he s doing well...=)
below s a part of the conver.
"y so many ppl call me babi?such a disgrace leh..."
"no lah...babi is cute mah..."
"ooo...tt means im becoming more cute!"
"zhen de....-.-"
babi doesnt mean cute!!!!!!!!!!in any sense....n stop showing off ur eyes to me!!!!!!!T.T
lol...

anyway..thanks for having talk to me...
haha..feeling better now...but stop nagging at me for tt one thing....-.-....especially when u r having a good time and im not!>.<

well..3 ppl have asked me abt my nickname today le...which is "~~~Meng Jie~~~6,499,697,060 people in e world,y did i choose u?"....
hmmm...i was not in a clear mind when i wrote tt bah...
i may mean a person or a thing..
lol
just feel tt i have made so many decisions....and if i chose e other choice for any of them, will my life be different?

my mom was asking me y am i so quiet during dinner...
donno how to ans..
many things jam together bah..

but cant think any of them now le..cos im feeling better after crap wif haocheng anf fengjun (beside talking abt gpp) and tt babi...o.O....haha

memory

2006-05-06T20:33:00.000-07:00

reading others blog can makes u think a lot...
i ruined my plan to do gpp again....T.T..shall blog again just after i sent my first entry for e day...

for a person who tell u what ur problems lies, if tt person s ur best friend, u ll feel he or she s ur true frenz after e problem solved although u may feel sad or demoralised when u got scolded and when all ur problems r revealed...well..i always get scolded for my wrong doing when i was at sec school....T.T...( cos i have one such friend.....) but tt realli helped me a great deal...n i feel e friendship s v true n great...

but if tt person s just someone u r not familiar with, u ll feel tt he or she is going against u , and u ll not forgive tt person easily...
hmmm...human nature?

haiz...how i wish i could have someone scold me n reveal all my bad points and tell me how to change again....tts somehow like another u sharing ur problems...
cos onli u ll noe ur bad points n dare to deal wif it....

suddenly realised how much tt person noe abt human-beings...lol..
strange saying tt..
but tt person noe how to help another person in this way and not hurt him or her in the same time...
o.o realise it onli when i have seen so many ppl cant...
haiz..
but its too late....

what nonsense am i talking abt...-.-
but i think onli i myself can understand bah...

boredom...

2006-05-06T20:14:00.000-07:00

im super bored!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ARGH...CANT DO WORK....i have just wasted a whole morning doing nothing...i realli mean nothing...nothing....
n its not just abt cant do my hw...im just damn piss off wif my life recently....for no obvious reasons...
n became obviously v bad tempered....=( feel sori for my grandma....although i didnt show my temper tt much,i noe its there...so feeling sori...haiz...its all my own emotions....i shouldnt have spread to e others...but cant help...haiz...

n this year im always sick....cold...
i used to be v healthy de...T.T

"welcome to my life."----by who?

2006-05-06T07:09:00.000-07:00

fake life or real life?
fake personality or real personality?
fake self or real self?
hmmm...there is actually no clear line drawn between them to my belief...
when we live in daily life, we try to package ourself and appear in our best form in front of others...tts some kind of self-protection?well..maybe to some people...but to the others, its something we r used to do, hence we wont show e emotional side outside...
we onli show e emotional,which is e weaker side in front of ppl we put our whole trust upon...ppl we think we can rely on...because we noe this side is not going to earn us any bonus point from ppl we know, n may even deduct points for our image in their hearts(for example...myself...i hate my emotional side sometimes...)...this side can onli be shown to our closest friends cos we noe they will understand and care and concern and will do the best they can for our interests....

Most of the times, its easy to find someone u feel u can trust...but its hard to find someone who realli try to help u and give u suggestions to a great depth...whr u feel this person s reali for ur good....

hmmm....whr am i heading wif this entry?

its a sad thing to feel tt someone talk to u e way like he needs to talk to u instead of feeling like to talk to u...well...quite confusing...but when tts happen,u will lost e interest to continue talking also bah...

sudden thought...hate and love s two extreme opposite feelings....but when u think it again,u will find tt there s actually a v slight difference between them...u hate someone s also because u love tt person,so when he or she did something,which u feel s unforgivable or makes u feel disappointed,then u hate her or him...the difference between someone u love a lot n someone u mind s onli e extent of hate generated bah...y do i say its hate when tt person s someone u love?because if an unrelated person did something unforgivable,u will onli dislike him or her, n stop going near to him or her...however, hate someone will also means u ll remember tt person....aiya....donno how to explain le....

its kinda a torture to both love and hate someone at e same time bah...
tt also shows how important tt person s to u...

haha....said weird things...sudden inspiration...lol...i also donno which part of my saying s true to my life ,which s imaginary..>.<

maybe everything s cause s just human beings' lack of satisfication....

but i wanna be a significant part in ur life...

should tt be stopped?

A variety of Random thoughts....

2006-05-01T02:24:00.000-07:00

suddenly remember something...
was chatting wif Joshua yesterday and he said he saw my cousin..lol
n he can sense she s happy...well..i doubt abt sensing others happiness...-.-
but nevertheless,its quite sweet for pc to travel so far....=p
n its so gd tt they can maintain after split schools....i ll pray for them i think..=)
well..i was reading newsapaper(chinese) in e morning and found some articles on NOW quite interesting..shall share wif u all...
think i ll try to translate it into english...as a practice bah...n dont forget i have won prizes on translation de...muahahaha....lol...tts quite useless bah...

the main idea of the article goes on like "There are volcanoes in each and every human beings..the only difference is tt the volcanoe in a mature person is inactive while an active volcanoe is present in a childish person; An inactive volcanoe is always covered wif trees and plants while an active one is covered wif ashes and stones instead. Once a volcanoe erupt, it will take years to recover. it applys to e hidden volcanoe inside us as well,ppl will nvr forget the fierceness u have once shown and e word u threw out can nvr be taken back."so the moral of e story s tt we should try to control our emotion...=)dont let our emotion takes control of us when it should be e mind tt makes e decision.

Here comes a self-test...what s e best time of e day in ur opinion?
two ans available..
1)in e morning
2)in e night

well...the ans r not provided
hahaha
cos i also donno....
but ans to e qn,i think i ll neither choose 1 nor 2...
i ll say its e moment before i sleep.....
its tt moment when we dont have to worry abt e things we have not done well earlier on or the things we need to do later....so its always tt moment when im realli clear minded...as in both free of trouble and clear of thinking tt can clog my true emotion...haha...

just send away xs..

some random thought here.i have not owned a room of myself in this 17 years...
i should have one but because my mom brought all my cousins here to study,hence i dont get a room of my own..
its out of my mom s love tt she bring them here...so i shouldnt say anythings over tt...but sometimes i realli want a room for myself...n its quite strange a family to have so many ppl bah...
n when i think abt it again,will they ever have gratitude over wad my mom is doing?
well...put myself in their position,i wont bah...
cos its more of a human nature..i would rather tend to remember all e scold i got...hmmm....tts something v strange but its happening..

xs said tt she pei4 fu me for able to study under such a noisy environment...well...thanks to my two bro. ....i also pei4 fu myself bah...haha
but no choice ....anyone under this circumstance can onli learn to adapt...

suddenly have so many things came to my mind...haha
well..like wad elaine has shared yesterday..
we give cos we love..n when we give,we invest....hence we ll not want to leave the things we have invested..
so i think running for exco in a club is not just abt tt position bah...hmm...i think its quite true tt when we love e club,it doesnt matter whether we r in e exco or not..but...i think in or not in e exco determine the extent of love we have for it...tts just my thinking bah..haha...

the next week ll be a busy week as well..we ll have to strive hard once more..
i like e moment before i sleep!lol..but we onli get tt once every day..
it limited...just like lots of thing in our life...
so we have to hold on to them...dont make regrets...(remind me of a few things n ppl)

jia you bah...=)

Guitar concert on Fri...28th April 2006

2006-04-30T06:56:00.000-07:00

Fri. was e guitar concert..
n its yj,sk and rc s maiden performance..
xs,me,liupu and xiaoming went to coro. to buy choco...cos we didnt buy something for "ourselves",so liupu kept on saying tt e concert has already started..n we ended up running...pity xiaoming,for having carry his bag...lol...n we should realli call lp along next time when we r rushing for times...v efficient..
n luckily,we just missed one item,which s by e whole ensemble..
sweating and tired,we sat at e FIRST row..so honoured..lol..
being sit at e first row means we can c lots of funny stuff and they laugh loh..so bad...haha
n we heard cheering from behind for "liupu","yang shun" and "guo dong"..so surprising!
lol
then we cheered for them also..haha..
but sadly...when we cheered for yj,sk and rc...onli sk said he heard it...havent asked rc...but tts e sweetest cheer we did tt night leh...lol...e surprise s not a surprise liao..
a wonderful night when im shouting wif sore throat...haha...
n xs and i wanna join ABA!T.T

feeling tired liao...
think going to sleep...tml need to do work...
my life seems like occupied by endless of work..
nvr felt before..
i feel a sense of satisfactory when i completed by work...but i cant do tt most of the times ...tts e stressing part...

okie le...gd nitez to everyone...=)

PW meeting....

2006-04-30T04:25:00.000-07:00

had cgm in e afternoon...wear normal clothes,they said its nice...=) i like to wear slipper!haha...maybe its e slipper s effect..
met up wif Kane who passed me some gp n phy books...even though its quite old edition but i feel happy tt he bother to find n pass to me..n he said he ll try to look more for me from his frenz...its warm to noe tt someone whom u r not tt familiar wif willing to help u.=)
when i got back home n going to bath,recieved one call from liupu...he s playing truth n dare!heard sk n susannze voice..
they belong to 3 different PW grp!
so its actualli sk n liupu s grp combined meeting...well..i wonder the nature of e meeting!n y s susannze there>?-.-lol(suddenly remind me of fri. s chat wif xs n liupu..haha)
xs s grp went kbox today to do gpp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!is tt realli PW meeting?lol...
n my GC spoilt...
T.T
but today chisin said he can help me wif my work during e holiday!yahoo....thank God...no one s realli helping me now bah...but its another warm encounter to noe tt he offer to help when he has not much notes left when i asking for it...
just now when i got back home...my grandma n my bros r all at home...but i dont feel e warmth of home leh...
its e difference between having mom at home all e time n having mom at work all e time bah...
haiz...how i wish to have a hug from someone...

i just feel discouraged when coming to think of school work...ppl asked me to try my best but im already trying...i failed almost all my tests bah...
i wonder how my block tests ll turn out to be..
haizhaizhaizhaizhaizhaizhaizhaiz

LIFE!

2.4!

2006-04-25T07:36:00.000-07:00

i ran 2.4km today although i had a sore throat....T.T
so brave right?
then in the end got 32 position...

n my throat is burning now!
coughing is so miserable...T.T

Life of a small gal...

o.o

happy new year!

unhappiness+anger+disappointment=i sense God ven more

=)

disappointments

my life!

Forever friend

xsalbum

from e beginning to now

camp fire

Angel N Mortal

=)

repent

mess

breakthrough

猫醒了

一只受伤的猫

christmas

christmas eve...

e day before christmas eve...

my heart.....

a lesson i should have learnt

photo

mixed feeling

year 2006

no title

argh!

hwT.T

beijing....

im back!

God,i need u..

...

allergy

guardian

the guardian

education

regret?

smell

smell

smell

post-exam period

Promo over!*im singing*:D

indecisive

protection

blieve,treasure,hold on...

empowerment

blur n guilty me....

salvation is here and he lives in me

Firework

shut down

ministry

cold

crying...

comfort zone................dangerous zone

i dont want to miss a thing...

God 's plan

goal dream

anniversary of wedding vs end of block test

its lame i noe...-.-

love my long hair...>.<

r u ready for a long journey?

cip+service=going to sleep soon....

taken from somewhr...

date wif my wife wif me waiting for her again....

7 basic needs of every soul...

we ll walk a long way...

dance wif joy...

im blessed...=P

life

random

LEP camp...

enjoyment in life

body aching>.<

salsa...o.o

life journey...

untitled.

SwEet Dream..

悄悄话

Girl in God's house

Promo over!im singing:D